Hot and Cold, Eyes and Smile, The Other Half of My Soul
by DanieXJ
Summary: It's Sandy Lopez versus Kim Legaspi. Set during and around the Seventh Season episodes, just with Kim and Sandy doing battle over the short red headed one.ile, The Other Half of My Soul" -
1. Chapter 1

Title: Hot and Cold, Eyes and Smile, The Other Half of My Soul

Spoilers: Only if you haven't watched the Seventh or Eighth Season of ER.

Disclaimers: I don't own any of these characters, WB, NBC etc do.

Summary: It's Sandy Lopez versus Kim Legaspi. Set during and around the Seventh Season episodes, just with Kim and Sandy doing battle over the short red headed one.

* * *

October 12th, 2000

* * *

Kim Legaspi glanced around the ER of her new hospital. It was busy, it was dank and dingy. Though technically it didn't seem dirty the walls were lined with full garbage bags and she thought that she'd seen a whole room full of them when she'd gotten the lay of the land.

She had no doubt that the County General ER was never quiet, but even she could tell that it was louder than usual. She'd caught snippets of the issue of the day. Two football teams, rivals, and something about bad hits. She spotted a shock of red hair. She'd been told by her boss Carl that the Chief of the ER had red hair. Kim started over to her.

She'd nearly gotten there when the simmering ER exploded. Bodies were flying everywhere. She saw a flash of silver, took a step towards it, and then she saw stars and was on the floor on her back. She was staring at the ceiling, wondering how her day could get worse when it did. The world was falling on her. She somehow got her hands under her and scrambled backwards with all she had.

There were a series of bangs and then dead silence. Kim groaned as she sat up and looked around. Next to her a young man in scrubs with bright blond hair sat up with a groan. He held his head and slowly looked around. "Ah man... that. That hurt."

Kim spoke, "Where's the red head?"

Dave Malucci slowly stood, "The Chief, she was under when... Damnit." Dave glanced around, "Frank, Frank, where's Greene, Carter... Chen, anybody."

Frank also held his head in a hand as he blinked, "Uh, I think... I think that I saw Doctor Weaver and the curly haired med student under there when, when the ceiling came down. I'll call..."

Everyone's heads went up as they heard what sounded like an army of sirens. Kim took the artificially blond doctor's hand, stood, and turned in a circle. "Are they the only two under? Were they?"

No one answered. A football player in blue mumbled something and the teen in white and green next to him gave him a shove. The player in blue shoved back.

Kim got in between them and shoved both of them apart. She pointed to her right. "Blue on that side of the ER, green on the other."

"They started it."

"You broke our safety's le..."

"MOVE. NOW!"

They did and Kim went back to stand in front of the rubble that had been chairs. "Clerk... sorry, I don't know your name yet."

"Frank."

Kim nodded and then wished that she hadn't as the world tilted on its axis. She gripped the admit desk and grit her teeth. "Frank, tell whoever they're sending, the rescuers, to come in the ambulance bay."

Frank nodded and got on the radio. Kim glanced around again, "Where's this... Greene?" She addressed Dave. "Or anyone else?"

From nearby in the trauma rooms they could hear a 'clear'.

Dave glanced that way and back to Kim, "Around I guess, sounds busy. Who the hell are you?"

"Kim Legaspi. Psychiatrist."

Dave inclined his head and gestured to the rubble that was the ER's waiting area. "Welcome to the ER Doctor Legaspi."

As Kim leaned down towards the pile of debris a young, short, dark skinned woman, with dark brown hair and in full firefighter get up exploded through the ambulance bay's doors. Others, including an EMT who looked a whole lot like the woman firefighter followed her in. "STOP."

Kim froze and looked up.

"You move somethin', you may kill them. Move back. Brady."

A tall, dirty blond haired firefighter took off his helmet and took a rolled up bunch of papers from someone who looked like a maintenance worker from County. "Thanks. Here we go LT."

Doctor Mark Greene and Elizabeth Corday appeared just as Brady cleared off the lowest part of the admit desk with a sweep of his arm. "Whoa... what are you doing?"

The woman firefighter ignored him. "Carlos, you've been in here before?" The man who appeared to be the firewoman's brother nodded, "This look right, or am I lookin' at blueprints that are 50 years out of date?"

Carlos leaned over the shorter woman's shoulder, "No, that looks right Sandy. Probably took out the support and it came down like the sky was falling. Matter of time I think."

"Mr. one semester of architecture, thank you." Carlos rolled his eyes at his sister's barb as Sandy turned to the rest of the firemen. "Okay. Now, we do this carefully, but quickly. Thanks little bro, take care of the wounded on the outside." She whacked the tall dirty blond on the shoulder. "Ready Brady?"

"Ready LT. Let's get them out."

* * *

It was dark and she hurt all over, especially her left hip, but none of the soreness made it seem like something was broken or torn. She sighed. Part of the ER had fallen on her, she was happy she was alive. Robert was going to be her bitch for at least a couple of months if this turned out because of shoddy up keep or something. Of course, that was predicated on her getting out of wherever she was alive.

The good news was that if she concentrated she could hear voices, but it was hard to concentrate. "Concussion." She mumbled. She turned her head, it was pretty much the only thing she could move and realized that she shouldn't have. Next to her lay one of the new Med Students. Ryan. She moved her head back and closed her eyes, preferring the darkness to what she'd seen in her own little bit of light.

Then the stuff on top of her felt lighter and she could hear someone whistling. Then she heard a colorful curse and a lower voice speaking. The whistling stopped and now the weight was almost gone. She opened her eyes and was blinded for a second. Her rescuer came into view, a ring of light still around the woman's head as her eyes fully acclimated to the change in light.

"Don't move." She spoke over her shoulder to people Kerry still couldn't see, "Hey... we're in an ER, one of you want to get off your fat asses and get me a gurney or somethin'?"

Kerry coughed, "Okay. I'm okay..." She tried to push herself up, but the woman put a hastily bandaged hand on Kerry's shoulder. The ER chief spoke again to the woman. "You should get that checked out. Get a tetanus booster."

The firefighter glanced down at her hand and back up to Kerry. Her eyes danced with laughter, though she kept a straight face, "Considerin' you're tryin' to get up after having a good chunk of ceiling fall on you, pot calling the kettle black much?" She paused, "I'm fine."

"Malucci."

Dave's face appeared, "Chen and Mark are getting a gurney."

"Check out her hand."

Sandy glanced over her shoulder, wondering if the young man would do what she said. Dave nodded, "Got it Chief. If you'll..."

Sandy shook her head, "I don't do doctors. No offense. Here we go." She helped make room for the gurney, "Since you seem to be Chief Weaver and you haven't said anything about helping the man next to you..."

Sandy trailed off, but Kerry knew what she was saying. She closed her eyes and fought down the urge to move on her own as her staff and the firefighters got her onto the gurney. "His blood is on me, not mine. Carotid got hit. He..."

An unfamiliar voice spoke from over near the admit desk, "If you'd like Doctor Weaver, I'll inform his next of kin."

Kerry moved her head and a tall curly blonde with the bluest eyes Kerry had ever seen swam into view. Obviously she'd expended just a bit too much energy, the world seemed to shrink to a pinpoint and then she was unconscious.


	2. Chapter 2

"That explains so, so much."

"You mean why they fight like they want to shag? I wonder why they broke it off."

Kerry groaned from her hospital bed, even without opening her eyes she could tell by the smell and air flow that she was in the suture room. "None of your damn business Elizabeth. Mark." She slowly opened her eyes, "Don't we have two teams of walking wounded football players out there?"

"We have it under control Kerry, now could you..."

Kerry cut Mark off, "A concussion. All I have is a concussion. I'm fine. See to the rest of your patients. I am still your boss, correct?"

Mark stared at Kerry for a long moment, then with a snap of his gloves and a shake of his head he stalked out of the suture room.

Elizabeth shook her head as well, "That was uncalled for Kerry, he was just trying to help you."

Kerry sighed, "Oh, go itch something."

That cleanly got a now quite pissed off Elizabeth out of the room as well and Kerry was left alone. Unfortunately that state didn't last long as the curly haired blonde poked her head in the door. "Uh, hi..."

Kerry blinked, "Who the hell are you?"

The bad mood didn't seem to faze the blonde, "Oh, sorry. Doctor Kim Legaspi. I just wanted to stop in and tell you that I called Ryan's parents."

Kerry sighed and put a hand to her head. "I've been out that long?"

Kim nodded, "Twelve hours or so."

Kerry groaned, "I have to..."

Kim stepped closer to the bed and put a restraining hand on Kerry's left hip. "Uh..." She took the hand off, "I wouldn't say things are going perfectly out there, but they're fine. You need to stay at least for another few hours. Uh, I do too... you have a serious crutch swing. You went all Gabby on my head."

"You have a concussion as well?"

"Less of one than you do. I'm the new Psych attending by the way."

Kerry closed her eyes for a moment, then they popped open again, "The woman firefighter. Did she get her hand checked out?"

Kim smiled as she shook her head, "Nope. You're always the Chief huh?"

Kerry shrugged, "Who else should I be? My crutch?"

Kim winced, "Total loss."

Kerry pushed herself up in the bed. "I need to get back to work."

"Kerry... Doctor Weaver." Kim took a step back as Kerry limped out of the room, "Okay then..."

Kerry thanked her lucky stars that Mark and Elizabeth were no where to be found. She managed to get to the admit desk and sank into a chair. It was Randi who appeared a minute later, and silently handed Kerry an almost identical crutch to the one that had been smooshed in the accident, before returning to her work.

She looked up as a little blond haired boy rolled in on a gurney, his foot stuck in what looked like a large storm grate. Abby was the first one to the gurney as Doris spoke, "This is Sean Gattney."

Shawn's parents were right behind the stretcher as was the woman firefighter from Kerry's rescue. Kerry fell in with the motley crew as the firewoman spoke. "We tried extraction at the scene, but it's too swollen. Collins is on his way with a blow torch though."

The boy spoke up as he was wheeled into the trauma room, "My foot's stuck."

Kerry smiled and turned her head as the firewoman spoke, "Doctor Weaver, right? Sandy Lopez."

Kerry nodded, speaking still made her a bit nauseous. Though, in retrospect, nodding wasn't a great idea either. "Right."

Kerry jumped a little as Sandy put a hand on the small of her back. "Hey, you okay? You look a little pale."

"Fine, good..." They both jumped back as Mark and a gurney came barreling through, "What." She found herself with her back against the wall and face to face with Sandy. She blinked and was sure her heart had missed a beat.

Sandy just quirked a smile and took a step back, "This place is crazy." They continued down the hall and Sandy glanced up at the ceiling, "I'm surprised they're letting everyone stay here?"

"From the paperwork on the admit desk, they say it's still structurally sound I guess. There was nothing above chairs but ceiling. Enough ceiling to hurt like hell, but only ceiling."

"That's what saved your life."

Kerry stuttered a little, "No, that uh, that was you. Ah, thank you for ah..."

Sandy smirked, "Saving your life. It was no sweat."

They stopped in front of a cart full of supplies. Kerry need something to do with her hands. "I... it's a pretty crazy job. Haven't met too many female firefighters."

Sandy leaned against the wall, watching as Kerry rearranged the cart. "Only one in Company B. Engine 17." She was pulling out her big stuff.

Kerry took a couple of gauze packages from the cart. "That must be challenging."

Sandy shrugged, "Nah, not really, I'm just one of the guys."

Kerry looked over at Sandy and was happy when the world didn't swim. Her head was doing better. She started to speak, but Sandy beat her to it as the slightly shorter woman made her exit. "Anyway, I'll see you around."

Kerry, always the doctor, wasn't done though, "Did you get a wound check?" Sandy stopped a bit down the hall and turned. Kerry gestured with her head towards Sandy's arms. "Your hand."

Sandy looked a bit like a deer caught in headlights. "Oh, ah, I don't like doctors."

She flashed the smile that had to have been used very often over the years to get her out of jams.

"You should let someone look at it. Let me take a look at it before you go."

Sandy seemed to consider it, but then the smile was back, "Maybe some other time." And with that she seemed to own the hallway as she walked down it.

Kerry shook her head and started back towards the admit desk, but looked up as Randi met her halfway. "I don't need a babysitter Randi."

Randi gave Kerry an 'as if' look before she spoke, "Wouldn't think of it Doctor Weaver. No, there's a man on the phone who, well, threatened to cause my children sterility and the city a bad harvest if I didn't get you on the phone?"

"Mlungisi."

This made Randi pause, "The fine black guy from a couple of years ago? You definitely need to talk to him."

Kerry let a little smile out and picked up the phone, "Mlungisi."

* * *

"Doctor Weaver."

Kerry signed a chart, filed it, and met taller blue eyes. "Doctor Legaspi."

Kim crossed her arms over her clipboard, "You need to go home."

Kerry went back to her charts, "I'm fine and there wouldn't be anyone to cover for me anyway."

"Hey..." Kim put her clipboard down on the admit desk with a bit too much force and Kerry jerked her head up. "I'm not doing this because I want to be your bosom buddy. You had a serious concussion. You were knocked out for twelve hours. You can't just go back to work."

"And yet, here I am. Who else will be? Luka's resting, Mark's home with Elizabeth or whoever. I'm th e attending."

Kim put a hand on Kerry's arm. Kerry stared down at it until the blonde removed it. "What is it with people touching me all of a sudden? Do I exude warm and fuzzy, or am I just so pathetic that people feel sorry for me?"

Kim's arm went back across her chest, "Sorry, but my point is still valid. You at least need to take a break, the Malanoche guy and Doctor Chen can keep the ER going until you get back."

Kerry studied Kim for a moment, "Doctor Malucci, David."

"Okay. Just over at Doc Magoos. My treat, or not. I can grill you on past presidents or something."

Silence descended over the admit desk and after a long pause Kerry put down her pen and threaded her arm through her crutch. "Has to be quick."

"Got it."

* * *

"The Niners huh? Don't say that too loudly around here, pretty sure that most people bleed for the Bears. You know, you haven't actually asked me anything about past presidents."

Kim took a sip of her coffee. "Yes, well, your cognitive function seems fine, you seem to have both your long and short term memory intact, and you're a lot less surly than you were earlier so..."

Kerry narrowed her eyes at Kim, "You think you're funny?"

Kim shrugged, "Other people do. So, how are you doing with..."

"Ryan's death?"

Kim nodded, "Ryan's death."

Kerry put down her cup of herbal tea. "I don't need a psychiatrist Kim."

"How about a friend then?"

Kerry shrugged, "Sure, but for right now I should get back to work." She held up three fingers in the Girl Scout salute. "I promise I won't hit my head again and totally scramble my brains."

They left money on the table and both walked back towards the hospital. They were in the ambulance bay when Sandy stepped out of a red emergency vehicle with a 9 on the side. "I'll see you around Kim."

Kim nodded and kept going while Kerry came to a stop next to the truck. "Sandy."

Sandy was as stiff as a board and her trademark smile wasn't in evidence, "Still got time for a wound check?"

They both looked down at her bandaged left hand. "I thought you left AMA?"

She picked at the gauze a little, as if it was the gauze that was causing her pain. "Eh, it wasn't bothering me until I jammed it rolling some hose."

"Still bleeding?"

The smile was back, though only at half wattage, more of a 'yes, I know I'm busted' look. "Don't think so."

Kerry was used to hard patients, but had always had a knack for cracking the hard nuts. "Okay. Let's take a look."

They went into the ER and then the suture room. Kerry let Sandy sit down, pulled a table over to them and sat down across from the firefighter. She switched on the light, undid the gauze and started working on the wound. "You were supposed to be on light duty."

"I was movin' some gear."

Kerry made a noise in the back of her throat. "Yeah, you went on a run."

Sandy chuckled, "I get a little stir crazy."

Kerry changed the subject, "Okay. Looks pretty good, no sign of infections."

"That's it?" Surprise colored Sandy's voice as Kerry looked up from Sandy's hand.

With mock seriousness Kerry spoke, "You need a new bandage."

Their eyes met and they both fell silent, only Kerry's movements making noise. Kerry surprisingly, to herself and Sandy, broke the silence, "So, uh, does... is a Captain Devlin still at the 7-5?"

Sandy nodded, "I know that name."

"Those guys used to hang out at a place called, uh, Moose and Squirrel."

The smile was back with a laugh, "Yeah, every Friday night."

Kerry couldn't look up. She'd never asked someone out. That was one of the advantages she liked about being female, the men did all the putting themselves out there. Kerry was also pretty sure that some sort of mental health intervention was needed. Because the fact was that Sandy was short for Sandra, and Sandy Lopez was most definitely a woman. Kerry had missed that part of college, hell, she hadn't seriously dated anyone until Med School.

Her mouth seemed to be working independently of her brain, she had no idea what she was doing, or why. In the last twenty-four hours not one but two women had made her heart beat, and not in a friendly way. One's eyes and the other's smile had ignited something that had been dormant since Mlungisi, since her ex.

She had no idea why she was asking the smile, Sandy Lopez, out on a date, but her vocal cords seemed to have started the process without her. "Uh, you should have someone remove the stitches in four days."

Finally Kerry looked up and into the deep gaze from Sandy. "I know where to find you."

Kerry held the gaze as long as she could, then looked back down to the safety of Sandy's hand. "Listen Sandy." Sandy sucked in a breath of pain as Kerry hit a sensitive spot. "Oh gosh, I'm sorry. I bunched it up."

"S'all right. What were you saying?"

Kerry made eye contact again, "You want to do something?"

Sandy decided the way to go was play halfway innocent, "Excuse me?"

"Uh, sometime..." Kerry was wavering, and she couldn't decide if she should totally embarrass herself to Sandy's face or while staring at her hand. "You know something?"

Sandy couldn't keep a straight face as even her eyes twinkled, "Something?"

Kerry knew when she was being teased and let a smile of her own come to her lips, "Lunch or a Movie, or..." she could make fun of herself too, "ice fishing?"

Sandy laughed at that. "Like, go out?"

Now that the opening salvo was over and it wasn't as if Kerry could embarrass herself anymore she met Sandy's gaze and kept it. "Yeah, I mean, unless I'm totally off base here."

"No, no, you're on base."

They both smiled. Kerry jerked a little as Haleh stuck her head in the door. "Oh, Doctor Weaver I was expecting... doesn't matter. You're still here."

Kerry turned in the chair, letting go of Sandy's hand. "I am." She turned back to Sandy, all business, "Four days Lieutenant Lopez."

Sandy gave a faux salute, "Yes ma'am, Doctor Weaver." She stood and left the room.

Haleh opened the door a bit more as Kerry started to clean up, "I can do that Doctor Weaver." Haleh paused, "I'm sorry if I interrupt..."

"No, it's okay. A patient?"

Haleh nodded and both women walked towards the exam rooms.


	3. Chapter 3

October 19th, 2000

* * *

"Kim?"

Kim looked up. She was outside the ambulance bay. She realized as Kerry walked towards her that she wasn't sure how long she'd been sitting outside. "Kerry..." Kim cleared her throat, "Uh, sorry, was there something you needed?"

Kerry sat down next to Kim. "I was about to ask you the same thing."

"I... today I had to..." Kim closed her eyes and raised her head to the sky. "I had to deem that a patient wasn't competent to make her own decisions."

"Glenda."

Kim looked down at Kerry, "She's your patient? I thought Luka..."

"She was Luka's, now she's mine."

Kim nodded, "The relatives called, they said keep her on the machines?"

"Yes."

Kim took a breath, "Damnit. Judy should have the right to speak for her partner. If they were heteros they'd be common law up the wazoo by now."

"I know."

They both fell silent. It was Kim who finally broke that silence, "I'm not blaming you. I'm blaming myself. I should have figured out something, anything to let Judy have her say in Glenda's care. Twenty Seven years, they've been together twenty seven years. I can barely comprehend a relationship that long."

Kerry put a hand on Kim's back, "There is only so much wiggle room in the rules Kim. We do what we can, but sometimes the laws and rules need to catch up with life."

Kim looked over at Kerry. "You're pretty good at that. Made me feel better for half a second. I thought the word on the grapevine was that you were an alpha bitch and had no actual social skills?" Kerry took her hand away and Kim winced, "I'm sorry, that came out..."

Kerry shook her head and stood, "It's fine."

Kim stood too and grabbed Kerry's arm. Stopping the shorter woman's escape. "I didn't mean it like that. Really."

Kerry turned, "It's okay Kim. I don't come to work to make friends."

"And yet you know everything that goes on in that place." Kerry shrugged, "You know things that you don't share with everyone. Every day you take the world, that world on your shoulders, and you have no one to share that burden with. No friends in there. Everyone needs at least one friend at work." Kim paused, "I am your friend Kerry. At least I hope I am, even when I put my foot in my mouth. I meant the alpha bitch comment as a joke, obviously a bad one, but a joke." Kerry stayed silent and Kim filled the silence. "And I bet you have more friends in that building than you think."

"Weaver." It was Robert Romano's voice.

Kerry sighed, "Including him?"

Kim made a face, "If you sit really still I bet he'll go away. Hey, are you almost off?" Kerry nodded, "Want to get a bite to eat?"

"Doc Magoos?"

Kim shrugged, "Or somewhere else, away from the the hospital."

"I can't, not today. How 'bout tomorrow? I'll be off by seven."

"I'll find you in the ER, and we'll leave from there?"

Kerry nodded, "Sounds good."

Kim started to walk towards Doc Magoos, but then paused and turned back, "Hey, how's your head doing by the way?"

"Good, good. I should go pacify Robert, but... tomorrow."

Kim nodded, "Tomorrow." Kim turned and nearly slammed into Sandy. "Ah, sorry 'bout that." Kim continued towards Doc Magoos.

Kerry narrowed her eyes at the firefighter. "I said four days. It's been a week." Without looking she spoke, "Luka, you're late."

"I'm sorry." It wasn't Luka who apologized, but the firefighter.

Kerry shook her head as she stood from the bench and started to her ER. "Don't be sorry, be punctual. Sandy..." They got inside and Kerry took a blank chart and started towards the suture room again. "I don't generally give orders to hear myself speak."

Sandy smirked as they entered the suture room, "Your staff thinks you do."

Kerry sat, "My staff thinks I eat children for breakfast."

Sandy sat across from the redhead, "Speaking of a meal. You didn't call."

Kerry glanced up, then back down at Sandy's hand, "Sorry?"

"You didn't call about getting together. What happened? You change your mind?"

Kerry cleared her throat, "I'm not, ah, I'm not very good at this."

Sandy raised her eyebrows, choosing to watch Kerry's face as she worked instead of her own hand, "What, follow up?"

Kerry jumped into the deep end with four words, "Wanna have lunch tomorrow?"

Sandy made Kerry wait and finally the redhead looked up and met Sandy's gaze. "No sushi."

"What?"

Sandy smiled, "I don't like sushi."

Kerry nodded, "Okay, anything you want."

Sandy wiggled her eyebrows and had a smirk on her lips, "I'm gonna remember you said that. So, am I gonna live Doc?"

Kerry put down the two instruments and sat back. "Yes, despite substituting the number seven for the number four. You'll be fine. So, I'll see you tomorrow."

Sandy nodded and stood, "For lunch. You here?"

"Yes."

Sandy smiled, "Then I'll bring the El train and you bring yourself."

Kerry and Sandy stepped out of the room and was almost immediately replaced by Romano. "You are avoiding me Kerry." Kerry sighed as she started to clean up, "You have nurses, orderlies, so many people for that."

Kerry pursed her lips and looked up at Romano, "What do you want Robert?"

"What's this I hear about you going against a family's wishes."

Kerry stuffed the used bandages into the biohazard receptacle just a bit too hard. "I didn't. Instead of dying as she wanted to, as she talked over about with her partner, she, and the person who amounts to her wife get to suffer because some asshole brother has a problem with homosexuality and can't let go as some last ditch win for him."

Romano raised his eyebrows, "No, tell me how you really feel Kerry."

"Piss off."

"Now you sound like..."

Kerry took a step towards Romano and poked her finger into his chest, "Either go screw her, or not, I don't care, I stopped caring years ago. Just don't take out your sexual frustration on me."

A smile came to Romano's face, "Well put." He took a step back and inclined his head, "Until next time Kerry."

He left the suture room and with a yell Kerry hucked the empty box she had in her hand across the room.


	4. Chapter 4

October 20th, 2000

* * *

Kerry and Sandy were in downtown Chicago, not too from the hospital. Kerry was a bit cool, but Sandy was freezing and they seemed to be walking around in circles. "Kerry, we're walking in circles."

Kerry sighed as they turned a corner, "Now, I'm sure it was on this block, it's called Nazeem. It's got a kinda blue awning."

Sandy managed to push down her shiver, "Well, I don't see it."

"We musta missed it."

Sandy turned to Kerry as they walked, "I don't like Indian food anyway."

"Well, why didn't you say something?"

Sandy smiled, "I just did."

Kerry glanced around, "Well, why don't we go to that Italian place across the street. They've got great risotto."

Sandy started to follow Kerry, then paused and squinted, "Wait a minute. That'd be great if they weren't closed."

Kerry squinted as well and turned back and started down the sidewalk again, "You're kinda a pain in the ass, you know that?"

"Some say." Sandy chuckled and then shivered.

A smile finally made it to Kerry's lips as well, "I'm starting to regret this whole thing."

Sandy bumped Kerry's free arm, "Too bad, I'm starvin'."

"Okay, let's just forget about looking for a decent place. I know a half decent place that will do. Doesn't have rats or roaches or anything."

Sandy tried to take Kerry's hand as they stopped at the end of the sidewalk, but Kerry wouldn't let her. Sandy frowned, but bantered back, "I like a take charge kinda girl."

Kerry colored a bit as she stuffed her hands in her pockets. "Right."

Sandy shivered as a gust of wind blew through, "Lead the way before I turn to an icicle and you have to stick warm saline in me."

* * *

"Well, this is halfway good. I'm surprised I've never been here before."

Kerry took a sip of her drink. "George's has been around at least since I got to Chicago."

"Which was when?"

Kerry took a bite of her Kung Pao Chicken. "1991. I started at Mercy, in '95 I moved to County to be Chief Resident. How about you. Did you grow up around here?"

Sandy looked around, "Not here, here, but Chicago, yeah. So, Blackhawks, Bulls or Bears?"

Kerry shook her head, "Baby Bears... I've never understood Hockey or Basketball and Football just seems so... violent to me. I can only see the brain damage those men are inflicting on themselves and each other."

Sandy shook her head and pushed her plate away from the edge of the table. "So, baseball, the Cubs."

"Since I've been here, yes, I know we just... I wish I could stay longer, but I have to finish my shift."

Sandy studied Kerry, "Will we be doing this again?"

Kerry threaded her arm through her crutch. "Sure. I had fun, but I really..."

Sandy did a shooing motion. "Go, go. I've got this. Save some lives Doc."

* * *

"Boyfriend's on the phone again Doctor Weaver."

This got Dave's attention, "Really Chief?"

"One, don't call me Chief. Two, you have patients, use your inquisitive mind and fix their problems." She picked up the phone and turned her back on Randi and Dave. "Mlungisi."

Dave shook his head, "At least that's proof she's human."

Randi made a shooing motion and turned to the computer. Eavesdropping only a little. Kerry sounded surprised. "I'm fine Mlungisi." She said something in another language that Randi didn't know, then switched back to English. "I don't need you to come for Christmas Mlungisi. I..." She sighed, "Of course you know I'll be happy to see you."

She pulled over a pad and snagged a pen. She tried to write and it wouldn't. She shook the thing, but it still wouldn't. A second later she felt another pen against her hand. She glanced over and mouthed a thank you to Randi and started scribbling down shorthand on it. She ripped off the top piece of paper. "I will be there." Kerry smiled, "I love you too Mlungisi. Talk to you soon."

Kerry hung up the phone and stared down at the paper in her hand. She carefully folded it and put it in her pants pocket. She crutched towards the Doctor's lounge, but spoke to Randi over her shoulder. "I wrote hard enough that you can use the pencil trick."

Randi smiled and shook her head as the Doctor's lounge door swung closed. Without looking she snagged the pad from behind her and mumbled, "Bet she even has a tattoo."

"Are you really supposed to think those things Miss Fronczak?"

Randi looked up, her pencil paused, "It's Legaspi right? The head shrinker? Doctor Weaver and I... we have a... complex relationship."

Kerry appeared at the desk. Her glasses and lab coat stowed. "It's true Kim. Randi gives me quite a complex. Are you ready for your Chicago orientation tour?"

Kim smiled, "Oh, there's a tour?"

Kerry shrugged, "Always a good idea to know the places you might not want to visit at night, or weekends, or ever."

Kim gave a half a bow and gestured towards the door. "Lead the way Kerry."


	5. Chapter 5

October 26th, 2000

* * *

"I think she's interested."

Christy paused and put her hands on her knees, bent at the middle. "Time out. This is the doctor? The red headed gimp."

"C'mon Christy."

Christy smirked, "What? I'm not in court, I can say what I want. Answer the question."

Kim stared out at the water, shifting from foot to foot. "Yes. Doctor Kerry Weaver."

Christy raised an eyebrow, "You sure she's not a dude. Only people I've ever known named Kerry were guys."

"It's unisex. It means dark haired or something. I looked it up."

Christy winced, "You've got it bad. This is bad. So, who's she been with that I know? I'll get you the scoop."

Kim raised her arms above her head, stretching out her back. "Uh..."

"No, no, no, no Kim. No. Don't do it again. You're going to get hurt. Gah Kimberly. What is your problem? You don't feel enough pain and suffering through your patients, you have to inflict it on yourself over and over by trying to turn gay all these straight women?"

"I don't tur..."

Christy let out a hurf, "We're not talking about this again. We're running, and next time we're damn well biking, my shins are barking like a Great Dane."

* * *

"Oh, Kerry. Fancy meeting you here."

Kerry glanced down at the sidewalk from her front porch. "Sandy?" Sandy was dressed in workout gear, including shorts, "A run?"

Sandy climbed halfway up the stairs and leaned against the railing. "You run?" Kerry raised an eyebrow at Sandy and the firefighter chuckled, "No huh? You never know, and you sure can fly in the ER. Not to mention, from the football brawl, you can fight too." Sandy backed down the stairs as Kerry came down them. "Work?"

Kerry nodded, "Do you often wear shorts in this weather?"

Sandy straightened the collar on Kerry's fall coat, "I thought you've been here awhile."

"I don't like cold."

Sandy stepped back, "Then you're livin' in the wrong city Kerry. Why don't you move."

Kerry shrugged, "I work here, my life is here, sort of."

Sandy was silent for a moment, "Wanna play hooky with me? Blow off work, blow off life for a few hours."

Kerry sighed and shook her head, "Can't. It's a full moon. That means the ER gets the weird and zany cases. Rain check?"

Sandy inclined her head, "'Course. Maybe I'll drag you to a Blackhawks game. I'll teach you the ins and outs of Hockey."

Kerry shrugged, "I guess."

"Good." Sandy backed up a few steps, shot Kerry a smile, turned, and took off running again.

Kerry watched her until she turned the corner and then shook her head and started the opposite way down her sidewalk.

* * *

"She's straight Kim."

"Second time in the same day." Kim shook her head and glanced over at her boss. "Oh, you know this for a fact Carl? If I recall, I had to tell you that I was gay. So, you're oh for one."

Carl glanced at Kim out of the side of his eyes. "Well..." His gaze went back to his chart, "Not personally, no, I've never slept with her. But a few years ago there was a jerk of a Doctor, Ellis West, and one Christmas there was an African man. Right around when she first started. The rumor was the she kissed him like a helluva lot more than a friend."

Kim turned towards her new boss and crossed her arms over her clipboard, "So, are you saying I shouldn't go down to the ER for this consult?"

"Oh, you're going down there and it had better be soon. We're never fast enough for them down there. But they seem to like you . Doctor Weaver seems to even respect you. Don't screw that up Kim." Carl paused, "What are you waiting for?"

Kim held her hand up, "I'm gone."

* * *

"So, who's watching the drugstore cowboy."

Kerry took a chart and walked away from the prying ears of the admit desk. It was like each time he baited her it was a new battle in an unending war. When they'd first met years before she'd thought it interesting that he could turn anything into a debate, it had made life interesting. Then it had gotten old, and they hadn't been debates anymore, but fights. "I'm the head of the ER, that makes Carter my responsibility. Unless you see yourself changing my job duties sometime soon?"

Romano strolled next to Kerry as they walked down the hall, ignoring her dig, "Correct me if I'm wrong Kerry, but did he develop his drug addiction under your watchful ey..."

She cut him off, "Is there something you need Robert?"

"I'm hurt Kerry. Do I need to have a reason to come down and say hello?" He barely took a breath and didn't seem to notice that Kerry was only have paying attention to him. "But now that I'm down here, perhaps you can tell me what genius replaced all the candy bars in the vending machines with raisins."

A smirk came to Kerry's lips and she chuckled, "Really Robert. You're here because you need your sugar fix? We're a hospital, we're setting a good example by offering healthy snacks."

"So, what are you, the nutrition nazi?" Kerry looked up from her chart at Roman and shook her head as they turned the corner and Romano continued, "America's poor eating habits are what keep us in business."

Kerry shook her head, "Did you even take the Hippocratic oath?"

A bit of a smirk crept from the side of Romano's mouth, "I had my fingers crossed. Now, remember, if it's still attached, you don't call surgery. We'll call you."

Kerry raised an eyebrow, "How could I forget, after your beautifully written memo that's now lining my birdcage."

Romano patted Kerry on the back, "You don't have a bird."

Kerry squeezed Romano's shoulder just a bit too hard, "And you didn't write a memo. If we need a surgeon, we'll page one. If that's too... inconvenient... that's your problem, not mine Robert."

Romano kept walking and Jing-Mei waylaid him as Kerry paused in front of the exam room that held her patient. She shook her head and pushed through the door, "Mr. Johnson."

* * *

"Daycare's on the fourth floor."

"Thanks for everything."

Kerry took a deep breath and watched the woman rush down the hall. Frank and his damn meddling. The world swam just a bit. She could still feel a bit of residual effects from the concussion she'd gotten. But her Neuro tests were rock solid and she wasn't planning on playing rugby or any other sport anytime soon. She could survive the rest of her day, hopefully. It had been a crazy day.

She heard her name called. "Kerry."

Kim was wearing a pinkish purple turtleneck and the weird thought popped into Kerry's head that the ER used trash bags that were the exact same color. The blonde psychiatrist handed Kerry a blue sheet of paper. "Uh, tell me that you're here to help out."

Kim smiled, "No, but I will take Mr. Kamtovic up to Psych once we get a bed available."

"Yeah, I appreciate that, but we could really use an extra pair of hands down here."

They arrived at the admit desk and Kim put down the folder she'd been holding. "Sorry, we've got our own problems. Tonight's a full moon..." It was as if the red sea parted for the pink shirted woman as she somehow turned and backed up while still talking to Kerry. She didn't hit anyone or anything, "...stop by later, if you want, it'll be like Mardi Gras."

Kim disappeared out of sight in the crazy ER just as fast as she'd appeared and Kerry stood at the admit desk for a moment just watching where the blonde woman had been.

But it was only a brief second as the cacophony of the ER intruded. She looked down at the transfer order and moved onto the next patient.

* * *

"No more records checks on patients."

"What'd you do with my patient Kerry?"

Kerry practically bit through her tongue as she turned and fell in step with Kim. "I got him a bed, but he's gone AWOL."

Kerry glanced to one side and the other, "Well, he can't have gotten too far."

They quickly went down the hall, he wasn't in any of the exam rooms or the trauma room. Their final stop was the suture room. "I told you, he disappeared." Kerry looked down as her crutch slipped just the littlest bit. Kim looked down as well as Kerry spoke, "What is this?"

Kerry reached down and picked up one of the empty packages, "Says he has to stay cool to avoid spontaneous combustion."

Kerry followed the trail of wrappers to the closet. She could feel Kim right there at her back. "Yeah, he begged me to give him a popsicle enema." Both women smiled, "We settled for ice chips."

Kerry chuckled and spoke to the closet door. "Mr. Kamtovic." She knocked on the door, "Are you in there?"

A slightly panicked voice came from inside the closet. "Yes."

Kerry got as close to the door as she could, "Alright, come out so we can help you."

"I can't, I'm burnin' up, I need my blanket."

Kim chimed in, "We can get you some upstairs."

Dave stood in the doorway, never wanting to be left out of a juicy case. "Want me to bring him out Chief?"

"Please." Both Kerry and Kim took a couple of steps away from the closet door and Dave took their place.

He knocked, "Mr. Kamtovic open up." And then he opened the door and took a step back to give the door room to open. And that was a good thing as Mr. Kamtovic came twirling out of the closet, the blanket and his entire back on fire.

He fell to the ground and Kerry was the first to him, immediately pulling a fire extinguisher off the wall, spraying him with its spray foam. Dave was next, trying to beat out the flames with a blanket.

Kerry bellowed down the hall, she didn't care who did it, it just needed getting done, "Somebody call the burn unit."

Kim yelled too. "Get a gurney."

The ER staff whirled into action, transferring Mr. Kamtovic to a gurney and getting him to a trauma room. Kim stood and watched Kerry and her staff through the trauma room doors as they worked on the man.

Randi spoke, "She's pretty damn good at her job, huh?"

Kim was transfixed by Kerry and nodded, "She is."

* * *

"Oh, are you off?"

Kim stepped her journey by the admit desk and nodded, "I am." She glanced at her watch which had made it up her arm at some point. "Aren't you off too?"

Kerry held up a sheaf of paper, "Do you know how much paperwork there is when someone bursts into flame in my ER. Miss... get a gurney."

"What? Did we not need a gurney?"

Kerry smirked as she looked back down at her paperwork. "I'm pretty sure that everyone and their brother in the ER knew we needed a gurney."

Dave clapped Kim on the back, "Well, not everyone can be as cool under pressure as the Chief. Right Chief?"

Kerry sighed, "Don't call me Chief."

Dave picked up a chart and left the admit desk.

"It's a compliment."

Kerry glanced up, "At the moment. He can call me Kerry, Doctor Weaver, Doc,... not Chief."

Kim held her hands up, "Okay, whatever you say." She looked over Kerry's shoulder, "I wonder what Sandy's doing here?"

Sandy approached the desk with a frown on her face, "So, is he on fire anymore?"

Kerry smiled, "Ah, no... just couldn't stay away?"

"Any report of a fire, especially on County, City, or State property needs to be followed up." She paused, "Will he be okay?"

"Physically, yes... it was only his back that burned. It won't be pleasant, but he'll probably get through it."

"Good. Next time call us when someone catches on fire." She turned, "Kim."

Kim inclined her head, "Sandy."

With that Sandy turned and left the ER. Kim shook her head, "No one other than Mr. Kamtovic was even hurt, what has her in a tizzy?"

Kerry glanced over at Kim, "She's just doing her job. Sometimes you can't be nice and bubbly when lives are in the balance. Sorry, but I have work to do if I want to get home at some point before I have to be back."

Kerry nodded without looking up, "Have a good night."


	6. Chapter 6

November 2nd, 2000

* * *

"It's... Kerry, right? Doctor Weaver?"

Kerry looked up, but didn't recognize the man who stood across from her, "I'm sorry..."

"Carlos Lopez, EMT. I usually wind up on the Mercy runs, but I was here when my sister pulled you out of the chairs' rubble."

Recognition dawned on Kerry's face, "Sandy's brother. What can I do for you?"

Carlos glanced around, "Have you seen her? Today I mean. Mama's flipping out because Sandy was supposed to stop over her house after her shift and she didn't."

Kerry shook her head, "Sorry, I haven't. I'll keep an eye out though. Do you think something happened to her?"

"Nah, but I told my mother that I'd check here and Mercy." Carlos glanced around one last time then shrugged, "Thanks Doc."

With that he left the ER, a worried hunch still in his shoulders. Kerry watched him go and turned her attention back to the computer screen, giving her very purple shirt collar an absent flick. She turned as a man's voice spoke from right behind her. "It's Eleven Hundred Hours."

* * *

"Hey, I need some help here."

Kerry looked up at the voice and went to meet Sandy and the tall man she sorta recognized from somewhere. "Lieutenant Lopez?" Kerry spoke over her shoulder to a passing Malik, "Exam Four open?"

Malik nodded, "Yep, just got cleared out Chief."

Kerry sighed, Dave's little nickname was catching. She put her focus back on the firewoman. Sandy was practically holding up the tall man as Kerry led them to the exam room.

He got up onto the gurney with a groan, taking breaths and looking quite pale. Sandy started to speak, "I think he's..."

Kerry finished the slightly shorter woman's thought, "He's having a heart attack. I'll take care of him, you can..."

It was Sandy's turn to cut off Kerry. "I'm staying. Now, and until he's out of the woods."

Kerry opened and closed her mouth, then shrugged, "You are his boss. You should call your mother though. Carlos was here, because she's apparently freaking out."

Sandy made a face, "I will, as soon as Brady here doesn't quite look like Casper anymore."

"Suit yourself." And Kerry gave her attention back to her patient.

* * *

"Labs are back on Mr. Mellonston, great color."

Kim stopped next to Kerry at the computer and handed her the lab results printout. Kerry had asked for a Psych Consult on the obviously altered old man, but she didn't know that the consult would come bearing the results of Mr. Mellonston's tests. "Thanks."

They both looked down at the sheet as Kim pointed to the test that seemed to reveal what was wrong. "UA's full of white cells, he's got a rip roaring Urinary Tract Infection."

Sometimes Kerry forgot that Kim was just as much a doctor as any doctor in her own ER. "Sorry I called you down here prematurely." Kerry pushed away from the desk and went to the other side of admit.

Kim followed her. "Happens all the time with nursing home patients, take an old guy, give him a UTI, next thing you know he's General Macarthur."

Kerry filed the paperwork in Mr. Mellonston's chart as they both watched some of the ER staff... interact... with the beauty contestants. "Yeah, I called the home, and they've already given his bed away. Hey..."

She needed to get in front of the beauty contestants situation before one of them decided that they didn't really appreciate the attention from the ER staff. She purposefully strode towards the commotion. Kim followed after her, still speaking. Kerry had met very few people who could keep up with her. Kim was doing a pretty good job though. It was one of the reason they seemed to work together so well. "Any family members who could take him in?"

Kerry responded over her shoulder, "No. He's at the mercy of social services. Hey, back to work." She gave a couple of orderlies gentle pushes away from the curtain area, "get back to work. C'mon, show's over."

As Kerry closed the curtain around the bed Kim gave a suggestion, "Maybe not. He talks like a Vet. If he is one, he could qualify for the VA."

"That'll take days to process."

Kim stopped at the edge of the curtain. "I know a caseworker at North Chicago who could pull a few strings, maybe get the case to transfer today. Want me to call?"

Kerry raised an eyebrow, "Sure, if you think it can be done."

Kim gave Kerry a smile and dodged Haleh as she retreated towards the elevator. She heard Jing-Mei tell Kerry something about brass cleaner and a pelvic exam. Kim winced. As she got on an amazingly and thankfully empty elevator she let the breath she'd been holding out. It was that damn shirt Kerry was wearing. Kim groaned as the door opened onto the Psych floor. She was just as crazy as her charges after all, even if there were no more consults, she'd have to go down to update Kerry when she got Mr. Mellonston into North Chicago, or wherever she could place him.

She walked into her office and closed the door behind her, resting her head against the door. "I'm an idiot."

* * *

"He responds to her inner battle axe."

"Oh?"

Dave turned and relaxed when he saw it was Sandy, not Kerry who had spoken, "Hey, the guy you brought in okay?"

"Brady. Just an MI."

"He play hockey?"

Lydia passed the desk, "I thought you asked Mark?"

Dave shrugged, "He asked me."

"You play?"

Dave made a notation on the chart in front of him before he looked up, "Yeah. You?"

"Sandy Lopez. Yeah, four years of high school."

Dave frowned, "A girl's team?"

"Nah, four years of varsity boys with my brothers. Two with Eddie and two with Carlos. Goalie."

Dave's face lit up, "You're lying?"

"Ah..." Sandy looked a bit off balance, "No. Why?"

"Tonight. I can play it, but man I hate it. You played recently?"

Sandy chuckled, "Not in forever, no." Sandy changed the subject, "What'd you mean about battle axe? Who?"

"Ah," he glanced both ways, "the Chief and her old veteran patient. Follows her around like a puppy."

Sandy caught a glimpse of purple out of the corner of her eye and turned and studied the Chief of the ER. "More likely he recognizes authority when he sees it Davey boy." She turned back to the Resident, "Have you ever thought about why you call her Chief? You do it to annoy her, but there are plenty of other ways to do that." She paused, "Think about it."

Sandy left Dave at the desk to contemplate that thought and caught up with Kerry. "Is Brady going to live?"

Kerry nodded, "He is. Do you eat what he eats?"

Sandy shrugged, "Sure, why?"

Kerry shook her head, "I'm just surprised your whole house isn't dead from how much salt you guys ingest. You should cut down, at least a little."

A smirk came to Sandy's lips as she raised an eyebrow, "Doctor's orders?"

Kerry smiled back a bit, "Something like that." She pushed into the Doctor's lounge and Sandy followed her in.

Sandy stood in the middle of the room and shifted from foot to foot. "I'm playing hockey tonight with one of your Residents. Malucci? He needed an extra stick."

Kerry glanced up from pouring coffee, "Oh, you play too?"

Sandy shrugged, "I do. I thought, before the Blackhawks game, maybe an intro. Watch everything that is not supposed to happen on a rink first?"

"Ah, I have advances in neuroleptic therapy... a presentation to go to tonight."

Sandy nodded, "Right, of course."

She turned to leave, but was stopped by Kerry's voice, "But Malucci doesn't get off until eight. It'll probably be winding down by then. Maybe I'll stop by. Catch the second half."

Sandy put a hand over her mouth, but the laugh still escaped, "Ah, period... and there's three."

"Period. Half, are you gonna make fun of me or tell me where it is. I need to get back to Mr. Mellonston."

Sandy grabbed a piece of paper and jotted down the rink's address. "If you can't make it, that's okay too."

Kerry looked at the paper, then put it in her pocket. "I'll try. Have to find some way to wind down from neuroleptic therapies."

Sandy chuckled, "See you Kerry."

* * *

Kim walked through the ER. She would figure something out, she just hadn't figured out what quite yet. She knocked on the exam room window and waited for Kerry to come into the hallway. That damn purple shirt just set her on fire.

"Did you hear from the VA."

Kerry took off her glasses and Kim focused on the bad news she got to impart to Kerry, pushing all the other thoughts from her head. "There's good news and bad news, I found Mr. Mellonston a bed, but it's in a brig. He's AWOL."

Kerry looked into the room at Mr. Mellonston in his bed. "AWOL, from where?"

"The Korean War. 1951. Army Corporal." Kim shook her head, "Deserted on leave." An inaudible sigh escaped Kim as she watched Kerry study Mr. Mellonston through the window. "Unfortunately my VA contact took it upon himself to notify the active military."

That brought Kerry's gaze back to Kim, "Why would they care about someone who deserted fifty years ago?"

Kim shook her head again, "I don't know, they may want to slap him on the wrist, they may want to Court Martial him."

"Oh, for God's sake, he's seventy-two years old."

Kim winced, "I know."

The two women shared a moment of defeat before Kerry spoke the words that Kim had been dreading since the little piss ant Roger had told her that he would be contacting his contacts in the active forces of the Army. "Is there anything we can do?"

Kim didn't say that she'd go door to door in Chicago if it would get Mr. Mellonston somewhere to sleep. If it would get the defeated look off Kerry's face. "Legally." She shook her head, "No."

* * *

Brady pushed himself up farther on his bed. "Shouldn't you be leaving for your little hockey game?"

Sandy watched Brady's monitor. "Nah, I have some time."

"You save my life."

Sandy shrugged, "I have your back, you have mine." She gave his shoulder a push. "That's why I was doggin' you this afternoon. Doctor Weaver said we should cut back on the salt."

Both of Brady's eyebrows rose, "Doctor Weaver huh? Damn Lopez. You've never done that, pined after the straight ones. It'll only hurt you in the end, worse than Iz..."

Sandy cut Brady off, "Oh, and you speak from your vast experience Jake?"

Brady shrugged, "Just giving you a heads up LT. You may get gay women, but you don't know straight women like I do. She'll walk away and you'll be pissed and heart broken and take it out on us for weeks. Give Weaver a pass."

Sandy watched as Kerry walked past the window, "I don't know if I can Jake. Just don't know if I can."

* * *

Kim hung up her phone and let her breath out. She'd done it.

She stood and grabbed her bag of Sour Cream and Onion chips. She didn't want to go to Advances in Neuroleptic Therapy. So she was gonna have some of her favorite chips to gird herself for the presentation.

She was nearly done with the chips and down in the ER when Kerry caught her. They were wheeling Mr. Mellonston to his new home.

"I can't believe the VA is moving this quickly."

Kim ate a chip, "They're not. I got him into another home. Borrowed a Social Security Number from a corpse at the morgue." She offered Kerry her Ruffles bag, "Sour Cream and Onion?"

Kerry put a hand up, "No." She looked concerned with just the tiniest bit of pissed off. "You borrowed a number from a deceased person?"

Kim spoke with her mouth full, "We do it all the time."

"Oh." Kerry put a hand up as they walked towards the admit desk. "I don't wanna know this."

"You said you felt bad." Kim's chips were almost gone.

"Hey, that is not the point."

Kim fell behind a bit. "I work with a lot of elderly homeless, you learn a few tricks along the way. You have to."

Kerry put a hand to her head, "Not another word."

Kim smiled as Frank spoke, "Doctor Weaver, time for that seminar you've been avoiding."

They stopped at the admit desk, "Thank you Frank."

"Advances in Neuroleptic Therapy?"

Kerry turned, "Yeah, how did you know?"

Kim seemed to like walking backwards, "I'll be there. Save you a seat." She nearly got taken out by an orderly with a cart.

* * *

"Lopez, right?"

Sandy looked up a a vaguely familiar face in a Wombats uniform. "Greene? Malucci recruit you too?"

Mark sat down next to Sandy as she pulled tight her skates. "He did. I thought he was playing goal?"

"Apparently he's really not one in his heart, just that no one else would."

Mark stood, "Well, it should be fun, right?"

Sandy stood too and shrugged her pads into place before she stepped onto the ice. "Fun... you don't play hockey for fun, you play 'cause it's in your blood. Fun..." Sandy chuckled.

* * *

"Well, that was a blast."

Kerry chuckled, "What, Neuroleptic Therapy isn't the hight point of your day?"

Kim smiled as they came to a stop outside of the seminar room. "No, that was getting Mr. Mellonston into another home."

"Really?"

Kim shrugged, "Every win feels good. Even if it's not exactly a perfect win. Especially on a day that sucked for the most part."

Kerry raised an eyebrow, "And by not perfect you mean illegal."

"Ayup. And it was not the only good part. This wasn't too bad with you suffering through it next to me."

Kerry chuckled and started to speak when her eyes caught movement at the other end of the hall. "Mlungisi."

They met in the middle of the hall. Kim trailing behind Kerry by a step.

The large, very dark skinned man with a receding hairline took Kerry around the waist and spun her around in a circle.

Kim caught Kerry's crutch just before it hit the ground. When Kerry was put back on the ground by the newcomer Kim handed it back to her without a word.

Kerry seemed to come to her senses and with a smile made the introductions. "Doctor Kim Legaspi this is Mlungisi, life long friend. He's visiting, though he apparently came in early, scoundrel."

Mlungisi held out a hand and Kim firmly shook it, "Nice to meet you Mlungisi."

He inclined his head with a smile, "It's my pleasure to meet such a beautiful woman such as yourself Doctor Legaspi."

Despite herself Kim felt her face get hot as she blushed, "Kim, please, call me Kim. A visit?" The Psychiatrist couldn't place Mlungisi's melodious accent.

"Actually I am in the city of Chicago for a visit, but I will be staying in your country for a bit."

Kerry gave Mlungisi a shove, "Why didn't you tell me. Where?"

"Cambridge. I have been hired for a position at MIT."

Kerry put an arm around him and hugged him that way. "So, they finally hired you on as the head janitor?"

Without batting an eye Mlungisi responded with a straight face, though Kim caught a twinkle in his eye, "Indeed they did. And as a secondary job I get to teach students. How are you doing on your rise to the top of the bed pan emptiers?"

Kerry laughed and Kim blinked. She'd never heard Kerry laugh that particular laugh. She interrupted the friend bantering. "Sorry guys, but I have an early appointment before my shift tomorrow. I'll see you at work tomorrow though Kerry?"

Kerry nodded, "Yes, yes, of course. Kim..." Kim stopped her retreat backwards, "Sitting with you helped make the seminar bearable. Thank you."

Kim wiggled her eyebrows, "Wait 'til I use your notes in my report to Carl and forget to give 'em back."

They both chuckled and Kim left.

Mlungisi narrowed his eyes at Kerry, "What's going on Kerry?"

"Nothing. Nothing."

Mlungisi shook his head, "Did I interrupt something?"

Kerry let go of Mlungisi and closed her eyes, "Damn. I forgot, I said I'd stop by the game."

"Game? Since it is November and baseball is truly over, someone has gotten you involved in another game."

"No... not really, it's just..." Kerry sighed, "Ah hell." She gripped Mlungisi's arm and yanked him towards the exit. "May as well have you meet her too."

* * *

Kerry was sure that Sandy hadn't even known that there was a player on her other side, then her glove was just there as the buzzer went off and the puck plunked into it. The game was over. All the other Wombats crowded around her and there was general celebration on the ice.

Mlungisi commented, "I don't think they win much."

Kerry chuckled, "Malucci tries hard at being a Resident, but has room to grow there too."

Mlungisi conceded the point to Kerry with silence as the goalie tucked her mask under her arm and glided over to where Mlungisi and Kerry were standing behind the boards.

Kerry spoke first as the firefighter stopped in front of them. "How do you wear all that padding and still move to stop the shots out there. It must be heavy."

Sandy didn't speak, just stood there and stared at Kerry for a second before understanding dawned on the red head's face and she winced. "Sorry. Right, firefighter. Ah, Mlungisi, this is Sandy Lopez."

Mlungisi reached over the wall and shook Sandy's quickly de-gloved hand. "I would advise against trying to teach her this sport, I have been trying to teach her football for... decades and it has stuck as well as a magnet to plastic."

Sandy chuckled, "No soccer, no hockey, no American football, how 'bout golf?"

"They score backwards."

Both Mlungisi and Sandy laughed out loud and Kerry shot them looks of death. It was Sandy who got a hold of herself first. "Sorry Red. I'll be nice. Want to learn to skate."

Kerry shook her head, "I tried once, when I was a child. It wasn't pretty. No."

Sandy tilted her head to one side, "I'll be there the whole time I promise. Your human crutch. Catch you if you fall and won't laugh at you. Scout's honor." Kerry narrowed her eyes at Sandy. "Okay, I won't laugh at you much."

Kerry stared at Sandy, who didn't sever eye contact. Finally Kerry sighed. "God, I'm going to regret this on so many levels."

* * *

Mark and Dave came out of the locker room. Mark caught sight of a couple of people on the ice. "I thought we were the last ones here?"

Dave got closer and smiled, "It's the Chief."

Mark joined Dave. "What the hell is she doing on the ice, trying to kill herself?"

Dave tilted his head to one side, "Not doin' too bad. Looks like the firefighter, Lopez, is teaching her."

Mark shook his head, "You think that anyone could actually teach Kerry anything? She knows all, and what's best for everyone, remember?"

Dave shrugged, "She's not so bad. Pain in the ass when you screw up, but better than letting us kill patients over and over because of the same mistakes I guess."

Mark shook his head, "At least she gets hers too..."

"Huh?"

"Didn't you know, Romano's her ex."

Dave's eyes got large, "No shit? Husband? You're kidding."

"Nope. Brings a whole new level to their interactions though, huh? And she gives me and Elizabeth grief for public displays of affection. Every fight they have is sex in the hallway."

Dave made a face at that, and looked up at Kerry's back, "I guess. Means she's human at least." He trailed off and winced as Sandy got fallen on by Kerry. "Yes, it definitely paints the Chief in a different light."


	7. Chapter 7

November 23rd, 2000

* * *

"Sandy."

"Kerry. I thought you'd be off for Turkey Day."

"I am." Kerry paused, "I mean, I will be. Are you here for you?"

Sandy shook her head, "No, one of the boys. Is your friend still in town?"

Kerry put down her chart and picked up another one, "No. He's getting settled in Cambridge before they start the next semester."

"Ah, right."

"He's a slow unpacker." Sandy's eyebrows furrowed at that and Kerry sighed, "That was a joke."

Sandy patted the pile of charts, "Keep your day job Kerry."

Kerry put down her pen and turned so that she faced Sandy head on. "Are you making fun of me?"

Sandy smiled, "For today, yes, and hey, if your friend..."

"You don't want to try pronouncing his name."

Sandy stuck her tongue out at the redheaded doctor. "Now who's making fun. Since he's not here I wondered if you had somewhere to go for Turkey Day dinner? My mother said she'd do it later, wait 'til I was off tonight. And she always makes enough to feed an army for a coupla weeks."

"I... I already have plans. Sorry."

Sandy held a hand up, "Don't be sorry. I just wanted to make sure you weren't gonna be alone on the big ole Hallmark family togetherness holiday."

Kerry held up a hand, "No, I promise my plans do not include me alone in my apartment."

Sandy raised an eyebrow, "Swear on your little knee thingie?"

Kerry cracked a half a grin, "Yes, on my reflex hammer and my stethoscope. But I..."

"Have to get back to work. Have a Happy Thanksgiving Kerry Weaver."

As Kerry passed by she gave Sandy's shoulder a touch, "You too Sandy Lopez."

* * *

Kerry poked at her eyes, her contact lens, again. The left one just didn't feel right. She wasn't sure when it had shifted, but it was annoying the hell out of her. She'd fix it when she got home, if she ever got home. "Chen and Carter are later."

Randy, who was dressed in a surprisingly subdued manner was the one who responded, "It's pouring outside."

"You know, when I was a Resident I always left early during inclement weather."

Randi mouthed exactly what Kerry was saying and Kerry saw her, but decided to be giving because of the holiday and let it go.

Carter and Chen appeared as Kerry and Randi switched places at the admit desk. While Randi was doing work Kerry was mostly trying to pace away her frustration at not having gotten out of the ER when her shifted ended. "Ooh, boy it's a mess out there."

"Sorry we're late."

They strolled in as if they were on time, but Kerry let it slide, they were finally in the building, she could leave. "John, you've got a drunk with a hand lac in sutures." They joined her at admit, "Chen, a breast abscess in four. If you need an attending Kovac is here, Greene is due in an hour. Happy Thanksgiving."

Kerry stopped her fast retreat as she got Happy Thanksgiving'd and spotted Kim walking next to a tall balm man clutching a live turkey. "Taking Mr. Morgan up."

Kim smiled, "He's a bit anxious."

The man turned to Kerry who had called for the psych consult, but hadn't know that Kim had arrived to perform it. "They were gonna murder Bernadine."

"He's delusional, threatened to blow up his neighbor's house."

Kerry tucked a bit of hair behind her ear, not that she had a whole lot to tuck and Kim glanced over, still with a firm grip on the man's arm. "Did you do something different with your hair?"

"Not really."

Kim studied Kerry as they walked, "You look different somehow."

Kerry nodded, "Contacts." Kim realized that was it. Kerry's face seemed opener. "Broke my glasses."

Kim slowed down as they got to the hallway to the elevators. "Ohh, suits you."

"Thank you. Good luck Mr. Morgan."

Kim smiled, "We'll get Bernie somewhere safe and all have a good Thanksgiving."

Mr. Morgan mumbled, "THey were gonna murder her, they were."

The two women went their separate ways.

* * *

"Sandy, my child, are you okay?"

Sandy looked up from her plate, "I'm sorry Mama, what did you say?"

Florina smiled, "You haven't eaten a thing."

Sandy looked down, "Sorry. I... Sorry Mama. It's delicious."

She started to stab some dark meat with her for, but Florina put a hand over her daughter's. "Is it work?"

Sandy shook her head, "No... No. It's..." She closed her eyes, "It'll pass. And there's no way I'm missing your pie Mama, which means that I have to have a bit of Turkey. I'll live Mama, I promise." She leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She looked up at the rest of her family. "I'm fine. Really. Stop starin' at me like I'm on fire and eat. Eat."

* * *

"It's not like he swallowed one nail, we're talking pounds of hardware." Kerry threw her hands to either side of her. Kim was laughing and didn't seem to be able to stop laughing at Kerry's story. "Nails and screws and one of those metric socket sets. Pliers. I'm palpating this guy's belly," Kerry mimed palpating her own belly, "And there's a crescent wrench outlined in bass relief, I mean, just smashed up against the skin. And so, my husband says to me, you've gotta go in there and consent this guy."

Kim interrupted Kerry's story, "You were married?"

"Yes, uh, yeah, he was a surgical resident."

Kim's laughter had calmed, but she still smiled. There were layers upon layers to Kerry Weaver. "And so I go in there and say, 'Mr. Judson, how did you get all this stuff down' and he says, 'a good Chablis..." They were both laughing again. Probably disturbing the whole restaurant, but neither could find it in herself to care, "he says a good Chablis..." Kerry was laughing so hard that she nearly bent over the table. And then there was wine flying all over the place, hitting the table, the floor, and mostly Kim.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry."

But even as Kerry apologized Kim was still chuckling. She dabbed at the spill on the table and then her pants, put her napkin down and looked down at herself, "It's fine. No, you missed most of me."

"I will pay for the dry cleaning."

"Kerry, it's fine, really. That's why they make washing machines and stain sticks."

They both quieted down as the waiter appeared. He cleaned up the spill as best he could, shot both the now silent women a look that was not pleased and put their dinners down.

They ate in silence for a bit, and then Kim spoke, "Does he have a name?"

Kerry looked down at her plate. "Tom, aren't they called Tom turkeys?"

Kim smiled, "No. Your ex-husband. Usually if it's a more amicable divorce first names are used post divorce, otherwise it's nicknames that cannot be repeated in polite company. Luckily for you, I'm not polite."

Kerry paused, staring down at her plate, then finally looked up, "Hell, you'll hear it through the grapevine anyway, surprised you haven't. Nosy Mark and Elizabeth found out somehow. Robert. Doctor Romano."

"Whoa..." Kim trailed off, "Really?"

Kerry shrugged, "If I could change it, I would, hell, he's the reason I moved here when I did. Reason I went from surgery to emergency medicine."

"Robert Romano. But, you were here first? In Chicago, at County?"

Kerry nodded, "I was."

"That's something right?" Kerry shrugged again, "Hey. I'm not judging. I'm friends with a lot of my exes. I don't believe that there is only one other out there for each of us. Each person we connect with, love, doesn't mean we didn't love the previous less or will love those who come after less either."

Kerry looked up from her food, "Heady stuff Doctor Legaspi."

Kim made a face at Kerry, "Oh, go eat Tom."

Kerry chuckled and speared a gravy laden piece of white meat.

* * *

Carlos poked his sister in the shoulder, "It's Weaver isn't it... Ah, big sis."

Sandy gave her brother a hurf, "Don't start Carlos."

Carlos put his arm around his shorter sister. "Hey, you know I'm there for you, no matter what. But, she just screams straight."

"Oh? You're an expert on gaydar now little brother?" She gave him a bump with her hip.

Carlos smirked, "Better than you sis. Oh yeah." He got serious, "Hey, she screws with you. Just say the word. I know where she works, and I've been brushing up on my hiding a dead body skills too ya know."

Sandy chuckled, "I love you Carlos. Never change."

Carlos gave a faux salute, "Yes, ma'am."

* * *

"We're really at the 'why'd you become a doctor' question?"

"Apparently."

Kim gestured to Kerry with her fork, "You first then."

"What, telling you my ex saga wasn't enough?" The two doctors' gazes met. "Okay, okay. It wasn't the leg." Kerry paused, "You haven't asked."

Kim parried Kerry's statement with her own question, "Should I?"

"Congenital Hip Dysplasia."

Kim ate a bite, "So, it wasn't the hip."

"It wasn't. There was a boy in my class. He was so smart, so, so smart, but his body had failed him. I don't even know what was wrong. But I just remember wanting to know why his body could be so broken when his mind was not... not by a long shot, and I wanted to cure him, more than anything in the world."

Kim bit her lip, but a half a smile slipped out anyway. "God, that is so cute Kerry. You had a crush on him. Man, I bet your classmates gave you hell for that. I would have given you hell for that."

Kerry rolled her eyes, "I was in middle school Kim. C'mon. They gave me hell for breathing. Anyway. I don't know what happened to him, he didn't go to our high school so..."

Kim pursed her lips, "Mlungisi. Pretty damn smart too. A professor teaching at MIT. And Romano's an ass, but he's no slouch either. Hmmm... Like 'em smart huh?"

Kerry narrowed her eyes at Kim and changed the subject, "I told you mine, what's yours?"

Kim sobered a bit, "I... uh. You sure you want to hear this, it's not cute and cuddly like yours." Kerry nodded and Kim continued, "I was twelve. I'd had something or other at school that went into the night and I... It was Christmas time I think, definitely winter, colder than usual, but we lived just down the block from the school. My brother was walking me home. There were no sidewalks so we were in the road, but we'd done the same walk so, so many times before, light, dark, summer, winter." Kim trailed off.

"Kim? He... he died?" Kim nodded slowly, "I take back the question. You don't have..."

"No... You told me yours, I'll tell you mine." Kim took a breath and continued, "I never saw the car, but he did. Joe did."

Kim sighed, "Joseph Legaspi Jr. He died instead of me, and I never wanted to let that happen to anyone else. Ever. He was named after my father. He was fifteen. A lot of times I wonder, what if... if he had been four years older than me, sixteen already. If he'd had a car. Would I still be a doctor. Maybe he'd be saving the world as... something. He was such a good painter too. There's one... we went to Hawaii, our family, the four of us. I was ten, he was thirteen. He painted this amazing landscape of the beach and ocean."

She stopped speaking again and closed her eyes, "I came to, and he was sprawled on the side of the road. Still half alive. He was staring up at me from the pavement and with every breath I could see frosted cloud from his mouth," She paused, "get smaller. I just talked to him, tried to reassure him and I held his hand until he died."

Kerry sat forward, "The ambulance never came?"

"He was gone by the time they got there."

Kerry clasped her hands on the table, "Oh my God." She unclasped them as she looked up and continued speaking, "What happened to the driver that hit him?"

"Not enough. He was drunk, but this was nineteen years ago," Kim looked down with a sigh, "They, uh, revoked his license for a while," she brought her head back up and met Kerry's gaze, "and had him pick up trash on Saturday or something. Wow..." Kim put her hands over her face and gave a sad laugh, "I certainly got us off on a very depressing tangent." She put her hand on top of Kerry's in the middle of the table.

Kerry was perfectly still for a moment, then pulled her hand back. Kim looked around with a half smile. "I think we're going to close this place down."

The waiter appeared out of thin air and cleared his throat. Kim was spurred to action, "Oh, I'm sorry I haven't taken care of this..."

"Uh, no, let me..."

They spoke over, on and under each other as they both went for their purses and wallets.

"You know, why don't we just split it?"

"I got it." Kim won. She spoke to the waiter while she handed back the folder with her credit card in it, "Thank you."

They both put their wallets away and Kim looked up. She broached the subject she wasn't sure she wanted to breach. "You know, this is our second meal together, some people," she took a cleansing breath, "might consider a second meal a date."

The uncomfortable smile appeared on Kerry's face and Kim mentally kicked herself, "A date." Kerry shook her head and the smile left Kim's face.

"You know I'm gay, right?"

Kerry answered too fast, "Of course I do. I don't have a problem with that."

"Oh..." Kim dropped her gaze, "Oh, I'm sorry Kerry." She put her hand to her throat, "I misread this."

"No, I... it's I'm so sorry if... I mean. I..." Kerry finally just shut her mouth to stop the flow of insipid babbling.

"It's just that you called me down for eight psych consults in the past. We..."

"...we work well together." Their eyes met.

Kim threw Kerry a bone, a way out, "My instincts are usually a lot more reliable."

"No.. it's..." Kerry trailed off again.

The waiter arrived and Kim thanked him, took a look at the bill, wrote on it for a second and signed it. The blonde looked back up at Kerry and was confused by what she saw in the redhead's eyes. Kerry finally spoke when the silence nearly seemed to go on so long the 1812 Overture could have been played. "I don't... uh, I feel very..." Kerry sighed and put a hand over her heart, which felt as though it was going to escape her chest it was beating so hard and fast. "I should live in a cave somewhere for - for the great social skills I'm exhibiting. No wonder I have an ex. And I'm flattered. I just... I'm good at single. I finally have it down to a science, it's not as easy as it looks."

Kim smiled a little as she sat back, "Do you want to be single?"

Kerry clicked her tongue rhythmically, "Hear that?"

Kim smiled again, "Ticking clock. So, that's a no to my question."

Kerry shrugged, "That would be correct. But, ticking clock or not, I just am plain bad, bad, bad at relationships. Try to hard, don't try hard enough." She glanced around, changing the subject, "We should get out before they throw us out."

They both stood, put on their jackets and left the rest. On the sidewalk they stood there, silent. Kim finally broke the ice, "I'll see you at work?" That wasn't the question that Kim wanted to ask, she wanted to inquire whether or not Kerry was okay with the turn that their not-date had taken, or if she was going to totally freak out. Instead she stayed with a safe topic. Work.

Kerry was staring at something and nothing on the other side of the street. She shook her head, "I don't know, my schedule's crazy in the near future... but eventually though most likely. I'm... home's is right around the corner. So... I..."

Kim nodded, "See you."

"Yeah."

With that Kerry left Kim standing on the sidewalk alone. She watched until Kerry disappeared around the corner, then looked up at the dark sky. "What did I just step in Joey, and why the hell do I never manage to avoid it?"

* * *

Kim nearly jumped out of her skin as her phone rang. She picked it up, "Hello."

"What's wrong?"

Kim sighed, "Hey Mom. Nothing's wrong."

There was a pointed silence that only a mother could manufacture over a phone line, and then she spoke, "I called to make sure that you had a good Thanksgiving. Did you celebrate it with Christy?"

Kim leaned her head back against her couch and closed her eyes, "No Mom. She had some sort of dinner at her newest fling's parents' house. I went out with, with a..."

"Man? Ape? Four toed, orange haired bass player?"

Kim laughed, "Mom... She was a... a co-worker."

There was a sigh on the other side of the phone again, "Aren't there enough lesbians in the world Kimberly Legaspi, you have to fall for the straight ones. Ever since..."

"Mom..."

"I'll stop. Just remember that they can't help being straight. It's a biological problem they have, so, if she's a nice woman, don't hold it against her."

A laugh bubbled from Kim's mouth, "Thanks Mom. For cheering me up. I made... another fool of myself tonight. But she's so..., and I thought..." Kim shook her head, "I should get to bed Mom. But, I'll call you this weekend. We can talk about if you guys can come out here for Christmas. I'll probably be stuck working at least part of it, but..."

"I'll let you get your sleep then. I love you little one."

"Love you too Mom."


	8. Chapter 8

December 21st, 2000

* * *

Kerry felt a hand against her back and turned. It was Sandy, "Don't forget."

Kerry shook her head, "United Center. After my shift. I won't..."

Sandy smiled, "Better not." A hiccup escaped from Kerry's lips as Sandy moseyed back the way she'd come.

Randi leaned down so only Kerry could hear her, "Hot date Doctor Weaver?"

Kerry started through Randi, who straightened, snapped her gum and backed away. Kerry caught sight of Kim as she got to the admit desk, "Kim."

"Hi."

Both women were at their fake best, plastered smiles covering up their uncomfortable-ness, "Hi."

Randi rolled her eyes at the two doctors and mumbled to herself, "So obvious."

Kim's clipboard was in front of her chest again, taking on the world's crap before it got to Kim. "You have a cyclothymic down here?"

They both stood in front of the clear patient board. "The guy in exam three trying to set a new world record doing sit-ups."

"Got it."

"Hey, I tried to call you the other da..." A hiccup interrupted Kerry, "..ay."

"Oh."

"Excuse me." Kerry's face was as red as her hair.

"I'm sorry," she hooked her pen to the papers on her clipboard, "my machine's been acting up. I need to get a new one."

"Or voicemail."

Kim inclined her head, "Or voicemail. Have you had any shifts this week? I've barely seen you."

Kerry hiccuped again, "Crazy schedule still. You know."

Kim didn't move for a moment, then nodded, "Okay. I should get to our cyclothymic."

"Yes."

They both went their separate ways and Randi shook her head, "This is not gonna turn out well, somebody's gonna get sooo hurt." She snapped her gum, "Nope, not gonna end well at all."

* * *

"It's a bad idea."

"Shut up Brady."

"Want me to flirt with her, prove that she's straight as straight can be?"

"No." Sandy took a breath, "No."

A call came through the loud speaker and Sandy relaxed. Fire, the danger, the rush, it calmed her, always had. Her parents had been astounded that she hadn't turned out to be a big ole firebug.

* * *

Kim entered the doctor's lounge as Kerry got finished drinking her cup of water. "I saw the patient in seven, she agreed to a voluntary admission."

Kerry, put down the water, swallowed and wiped at the droplets that were dribbling down her chin. She always appeared just oh so smooth in front of Kim Legaspi. "Thank you. Mmm... hiccups."

She looked up at Kim, who asked, "Does it work?"

"I don't know. I'm desperate, now I'm listening to Randi."

Kim sat down across from Kerry, her clipboard in her lap. "Kerry. What are you doing? What are we?"

Kerry blinked, "Uh... we're associates... colleagues, we're friends."

"Friends." Kim gave Kerry a pained smile, "I don't think we're in the same place on this."

Kerry shook her head, "On-on what?"

"Us." Kim paused, "I don't need anymore friends."

Kerry was speechless for a moment, her mouth working, but her vocal cords. Finally something came out. "Oh, okay, okay. I understand."

Kim's face scrunched a little as she studied Kerry. "Do you?"

Kerry shook her head, "No, no, I like you and I respect you, and I thought we were really hitting it off."

Kim nodded and sat a bit closer, "That's the problem. You're straight, and I'm not, and I've done this before, and it didn't work out, and I'm not gonna do it again."

"Yeah, but I"m not asking for that from you, I mean, we're comfortable together, we have a lot in common, we have fun together."

Kim put a hand on the side of Kerry's face and guided their heads together and their lips met. Kim kissed Kerry and she could feel Kerry kiss back and then the switch was flipped and Kerry pulled back.

Kim sat back as well. "That's why I can't be your friend Kerry." With that she stood and left the doctor's lounge.

Kerry sat there. She wasn't sure how long. It was the whoop of an ambulance that brought Kerry from her reverie. "Ah, damn, hockey game." She sighed.

* * *

"They won?"

Sandy chuckled as the two women walked down the final sidewalk that led to the EL and home for Kerry and then Sandy. "They did. Six to Four. Against the Canucks."

"Vancouver?"

Sandy nodded, "Yep." Kerry shivered a bit and Sandy put an arm around the redhead pulling her closer. "They're one of the original six you know. Boston Bruins, Detroit Red Wings, Toronto Maple Leafs, Montreal Canadiens, New York Rangers and them Blackhawks. Now, the places they put the teams are crazy, Dallas, California." Sandy shook her head. "Pond skating, I'd go up to my cousins and they had one right by down the street. That's where the fun is. Tending a net with practically no pads and having a puck fly at you... and suddenly it hits a bump on the ice and totally changes direction."

They got on the El train. "Why hockey?"

Sandy shrugged as she let Kerry sit and stood next to her. "My older brother Eddie. Eduardo. He played, I got dragged along. I didn't have skates the first couple of times and they never had enough bodies, so they stuck me in front of the goal." Sandy smirked, "I was a bit of a tomboy as a kid."

Kerry looked up at Sandy with a 'no, duh' look on her face. Sandy smiled and started to speak, but before she could Kerry stood. "This is my stop. I'll..."

Sandy cut her off, "Uh, uh... to the door service Kerry. Have you seen the black ice everywhere?"

As they stepped out of the train Kerry shot Sandy a look, "You think I can't deal with a bit of ice?"

Sandy was about to answer, but found she didn't need to as Kerry started to fall and Sandy wrapped her arms around the redhead to catch her.

Kerry waited for it as they walked towards her house, but it didn't come. "Well?"

Sandy glanced over at Kerry, all innocence, "What? Oh, you're waiting for me to say I told you so? Nope. Not gonna happen."

They came to a stop at the bottom of Kerry's steps, "I'm home."

"You are."

"I, before, earlier today, I..." Kerry trailed off as Sandy took a step forward and in almost the exact way as Kim, putting her hand on Kerry's cheek and guiding their lips together, Sandy kissed Kerry.

After a couple of skipped heartbeats Kerry pulled back abruptly, "I..."

Sandy covered Kerry's lips with her hand, "I'll pop up when you least expect it. Quiz ya on Blackhawks trivia." With that, Sandy turned and headed back to the El station and Kerry let out a long frosted breath of air.

"This is just great. Don't fall for one, fall for two... and women. Good going Weaver. God, could it get worse?"


	9. Chapter 9

January 31st, 2001

* * *

It did get worse. The two women took two different tacts. Kim avoided Kerry like the plague, ostensibly giving the other woman and herself space to realign their relationship back to co-workers. Unfortunately when they did bump into each other they seemed to just be snapping at each other and they didn't seem to know how to stop.

Sandy did just as she said she would, she popped up everywhere at random times. Sometimes with a Blackhawks questions, sometimes not. Here and there she'd try to kiss Kerry again, but even when they were alone Kerry shied away from the affection.

Kerry stood in the dark and dampness of the small alleyway off of the ambulance bay and in between a couple of the hospital buildings and watched the frenzy of the bay. Her head was all confused. Sandy, Kim, Kim, Sandy.

She knew Kim thought that she was avoiding her because Kim thought Kerry wasn't sure if she wanted, needed women in a gay way. But after the 'day of two kisses' as she was thinking of it, she was pretty sure that she was at least bisexual. After all, she didn't want to believe that what she and Mlungisi had had wasn't real too.

Kerry wasn't sure what Sandy thought.

Kim and Sandy were so different. Every thing that came out of Kim's mouth made sense to Kerry. With a look they could practically diagnose a patient. It was just this easy give and take, idea, subtle nerdy jokes. At least it was when they weren't fighting like a couple of PMSing female dogs.

On the other hand Sandy was a mystery, and Kerry had never really loved the mystery genre, she liked the bodice ripping, they ended up together at the end after a couple of bumps in the road, romances. She had enough mystery every day that came through her ER doors. On the other hand, Sandy had this one smile that just made Kerry melt.

Kerry shook her head. After the drug mule meltdown in her ER Kerry decided that it was time to set things straight, so to speak, with the two women, and she would start with Kim, since they had to work together still.

She left her hiding place and went across the street. Way too fast she got to Doc Magoos' door and pushed through the front door. Her arms full of binders and folders. The Psych clerk had told Kerry that Kim was in the diner. Kerry glanced around and spotted Kim alone in one of the booths. The place was empty for the most part, a rare occurrence, but Kerry was thankful for it.

She slid into the booth, "Hey."

Kim looked up, "Oh, hi. I was just about to leave if you want the table."

"No, no..." As Kim tried to pack up, Kerry tried to get comfortable. "I called your office, and they said you might be here." It sounded better than, 'bugged the psych clerk until she gave up where you were'. Kerry slid her arm from the cuff of her crutch. "I was hoping that we could talk."

Kim did her eyebrow thing, as if she didn't quite believe what she was hearing. "I don't know Kerry, we've talked a lot today."

Kerry looked down as Kim's jab hit home. "Look, I know that it's been tense between us, and I really don't mean it to be."

"I'm sure it'll pass." Kim's arms were firmly over her chest and Kerry couldn't help but stare at them. She thought back to Mr. Mellonston, the veteran. Not once during the work day or at the seminar had Kim crossed her arms or held her clipboard in front of her chest. Kerry looked up into Kim's beautiful and intoxicating blue eyes as the psychiatrist continued speaking. "In a few weeks we'll just be friendly co-workers again." The smile that followed was real, and Kerry couldn't resist. She put her hand on one of Kim's arms and pulled until their hands lay intertwined in the middle of the table.

"I'm an Iris foetidissima. I have a beautiful purple flower and yet..."

Kim finished Kerry's sentence, "You smell like raw meat gone bad."

"Yes."

Kim removed her hand from under Kerry's, "Find a man Kerry. One without a sense of smell. You think they won't see you for you, but they will. You're... amazing... and not because of that stick of metal, or because you're beautiful. It's... find a man."

"That's... that's not what I want Kim."

Kim stood, "You have a good night okay?"

"Kim..."

Kim went the few steps to get her coat and when she had put it on and turned she nearly slammed into Kerry. Their eyes met and Kim felt the barest of touches from Kerry's hand. "Please, hear me out."

Kim stood there, searching Kerry's soul through the only window available to her, Kerry's eyes. The only movement that Kim made other than her shallow breaths was the skin of her neck jumping to the pace of her heartbeat. "I... okay."

* * *

"Pencil Cactus."

"Which really looks nothing like a pencil." Kim put down her things and took Kerry's binders and cat. "Usually people notice the dolls first."

Kerry glanced down and jumped back, "Oh..."

Kim chuckled, "Yeah, like that." She led Kerry into the living room. "You wanted to talk?"

"I... no."

Kim frowned, "What are..." She was cut off as Kerry grabbed her, pulling Kim's head down and kissing the blonde as Kerry's crutch clattered to the floor.

They came up for air and Kerry gasped, "Too tall..."

Kim solved that by helping Kerry down the hall and onto her bed, all while they both lost their clothes.


	10. Chapter 10

February 1st, 2001

* * *

Kerry lay in bed and watched as Kim dried her hair. A smile appeared on her face as the blonde, now with dry hair turned off the hair dryer and came back into the bedroom. Kerry had meant to talk with Kim, hash out everything, she really had, and then. She never let go, she was always in control, it was how she dealt with... everything. People died when she said it was time to give up, people jumped when she said, and they did it however damn high she wanted them to go. Kim seemed to simply have the pass code to her control, with one look she could turn it off.

Kerry suddenly realized that Kim had been talking to her, "Sorry, I wasn't... what?"

Kim hid her smile, "Are you gonna take a shower too?"

"Mmmhmmm..."

Kim smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. She brushed a lock of hair from Kerry's forehead, then kissed her and stood. "I'll be in the kitchen."

Kerry followed Kim with her eyes and then stared up at the ceiling for a moment. Out of control wasn't as scary as it had been as a kid. She smiled and rolled out of bed.

* * *

Sandy sat at the table in the kitchen of the station house. In front of her sat a bunch of papers. She stared down at them and sighed.

Jake Brady flipped the other chair at the table around and straddled it. "Let me guess. Brother and Officer Eddie came through. It's not going to work out Sandy. She's straight. You're not."

Sandy spoke, "She was married."

"See."

"To Robert Romano."

Brady winced. Everyone and anyone who worked with or passed through County knew who Romano was, and no one particularly liked him. "Seriously?"

Sandy passed the background her brother Eddie had gotten on Kerry to Brady. "You're probably right. But the way we kissed. Hell, I probably won't get a chance to even see her for weeks. My schedule's crazy."

Brady smirked, "Want me to show you the world's smallest violin playing 'Hearts and Flowers'?"

Sandy gave him a kick under the table as the alarm went off and they both stood as they got called out to a car fire.

* * *

Kerry came around the corner into Kim's kitchen. The night before, in Doc Magoos, in her lack of control, she hadn't quite thought everything through. That was why she was wearing one of Kim's shirt. At least she hoped it was Kim's. The buttons were on the wrong side to be a woman's blouse.

Kerry looked up and her mouth went dry. The hoodie, the hair. She swallowed and smoothed the back of her hair. It never seemed to do what she wanted it to. There was Kim looking drop dead, Angelina Jolie, gorgeous and there Kerry was in a too big male shirt and day old pants.

Kim looked up and spoke, not pausing from making her bagel. "That looks good on you."

"What?"

"My, uh, blouse."

Kerry looked down at the shirt as if it would animate and jump off her body, "Uh, yeah, it's not too long."

"No."

Kim fell silent and Kerry had no idea what to say. It had been a couple of years since she'd done the uncomfortable morning after dance with anyone at all. And that had been at a conference in New Jersey. Greg something or other, one night. She hadn't called and he hadn't either. This, Kerry realized, this wasn't going to be that, even if she wanted it to be, and truthfully, Kerry wasn't sure what the hell she wanted anymore.

Humor always worked for Kim, so to break the silence that was only punctuated by her pouring coffee, she joked, "Good thing I have a forty gallon water heater."

Kerry got flustered, "What?" Kerry mentally whacked herself upside the head. She needed to get away from the idiotic sounding 'whats', but couldn't seem to find other words.

"You take long showers." Kim nodded, a smile to diffuse the tension that was suddenly filling the room.

"I'm sorry."

"No, no." She chuckled, "Sometimes I have to stand under there for twenty minutes, just to wake up, when it's cold. Especially in winter."

It was probably just in Kerry's head, but everything that Kim uttered suddenly sounded like a proposition. And that wasn't helping keeping her head clear. No, she should have been thinking about what she needed to do in the ER, but all she could see were Kim's legs, and breasts, and the curve of her abdomen, and the eyes, and... Kerry decided to change the subject, "Is it cold outside?" She went to get her coat.

"Low twenties. Do you want a bagel?" Anything to get the redhead to stay another moment, or even just look at her.

"No thanks, I got it, I'll get something at work."

Kerry turned, her coat halfway on and Kim was there. "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

Kerry couldn't meet Kim's eyes and Kim sighed, "Are you okay?"

Kerry continued to put on her coat. "I've got it."

Kim put a hand on Kerry's cheek and waited until the redhead looked at her. "No, I meant about us." Kim paused, "The first time can be a little..."

Kim trailed off and Kerry spoke, "No, it's just... different."

Kim smiled just a bit and nodded, "That's true."

Kerry smiled back, "But good."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Kim put a hand on either side of Kerry's face and felt Kerry put her arms around her as they kissed. Finally it was Kerry who pulled away. "Kim, about work..."

Kim's face fell, "Just between us." She sighed and took a step back. She started to cross her arms over her chest, but one arm got caught by Kerry. She looked up.

"I'm not saying forever, but I'm... I'm not you Kim. I don't let people in, and suddenly having my entire department knowing my private life..."

Kim nodded, "Knowing you're gay."

Kerry laughed and Kim looked up with a frown, "You think that's what this is about? Sleeping with a woman instead of a man?" Kim shrugged, "It's not. Please. Give me time."

Kim stared at Kerry for a moment, then resorted to humor with a slight smile. "It'll cost you a kiss."

Kerry raised an eyebrow, "Only one?"

Kim's eyes twinkled, "How high can you count?"

* * *

Randi cleared her throat in the doorway of the doctor's lounge. Kerry kept working, so Randi did it again and Kerry turned, pinning the clerk with a look and snapped, "What Randi?"

Randi held her hands up, "Just wanted to let you know that your hickey's showing. If you'd rather I hadn't..."

Kerry's hand went up to her neck and she pulled Kim's blue shirt's collar higher. "Thank you, and Randi..."

Randi met Kerry's eyes, "My lips are sealed Doctor Weaver."

Randi left the lounge and Kerry sighed, "They've never been before. God, you'd think I was in high school."

Before Kerry could get back to work Dave crashed through the door. "You have a problem with me Weaver? I know I'm not saint fucking Carter, but I'm a damn good Doctor and... and..."

"I know."

Dave blinked, "Huh?"

Kerry turned in her chair. "Dave, I've gotten yelled at by Luka and Peter and... it seems like everyone else today about everything from my treatment of Carter to calling the authorities on the sweatshop. Truth be told I'm surprised Robert hasn't come down to jump on the bandwagon yet. Can we talk about this tomorrow?"

"Chief."

Kerry put a hand up. "I'm not putting you off David. You think you know me, would I put you off by lying? I just. Not today. But, we will sit down, just us, and talk."

Dave stared at Kerry for a moment, then hurfed, "Tomorrow. Is it okay if I get outta here? Or does Carter need another day off?"

Kerry turned back to her work, ignoring the sarcasm in Dave's voice, "No. We'll be fine. Go."

He did without another word. Kerry was nearly done when she heard the door again and closed her eyes. She didn't expect the voice she heard next. "Is she okay?"

Kerry turned, "Sandy?"

"A child. I think Morales brought her in. She okay?"

Kerry nodded, "Yes." She paused, "and no. All she had was a non displaced fracture of her tibia. But her mother died."

Sandy grimaced, "Thanks for telling me. Are you okay?"

Kerry nodded, "We still on for the game next week?"

Sandy nodded, "If you want, or... maybe something you want to do instead? Symphony, or Opera, or something?"

Kerry raised an eyebrow, "You think I like that stuff?"

Sandy tried to muffle a chuckle, but didn't succeed. "Damn straight." Sandy frowned at Kerry, "You sure you're okay?"

"Just tired. You're still on."

Sandy nodded, "All night. Just wanted to check on the little girl. Call me when you figure out where to tortu... uh, take me..."

Kerry let herself smile for just a moment, "I will. Stay safe."

"Always do."

* * *

Kerry walked up her steps and stopped at the top. Even seeing Sandy hadn't buoyed her mood for long. Of course, having Luka shooting her death rays the rest of her shift, and seeing the little girl at the end of the day had hit her hard. Sandy was on duty, but shew as pretty sure that Kim was off. She went back down her steps. It wasn't fair to go to either of them. It wasn't there problem, it was hers.

Sitting on the El she couldn't stop thinking. Why did she always follow the rules? Why didn't she listen when people told her to let it go, to let something be? They usually were right.

She found herself in front of 305 TeMPLE. Kim's. She mounted the steps and after a pause, knocked on the door. After a moment Kim came to the door in a Chicago Bears sweatshirt. Neither spoke as Kim put an arm around Kerry and pulled her inside.

Kerry didn't speak until they sat on the couch. "Am I horrible bitch Kim?"


	11. Chapter 11

February 15th, 2001

* * *

Kerry stared up at Kim's ceiling, so many thoughts going through her head and then none at all. She heard footsteps and turned to watch Kim enter the bedroom from the bathroom. Kim smiled, "Hi. Did I wake you?"

Kim was wearing her pink kimono. She looked like an angel came down to Earth. Kerry couldn't find words so she just shook her head with a negative mumble.

Kim approached the bed, "I was trying to let you sleep," and sat down on the edge of it.

Their hands found each others as Kerry spoke, "I should probably get home anyway."

Kim traced circles on the back of Kerry's hand. "You should bring a few things over..." She paused, "Or we could try your place..." A gentle smile came to Kim's face, "Unless you have a husband hiding there or something." Kim must have seen something flash through Kerry's eyes because Kim pulled her hand away, "God, you do."

Kerry recaptured Kim's hand and brought it to her lips, laying the faintest of kisses on the pale skin. "No, I don't." And let their hands drop to the bed.

Kim stared down at their entangled hands, then back up to Kerry's smile, "I need to dry my hair."

Kerry started to untangle their hands, but Kim prevented her. Bringing one of the hands that had saved so many lives up and kissing its palm. Kerry closed her eyes as sensations she'd never felt before, with Mlungisi, Ellis, Robert or almost anyone course through her body, just because of a kiss on the hand.

Kim stood, "Are you gonna watch me again?" There was a twinkle in her eyes. On that told Kerry that Kim thought the whole watching her dry her hair was weird. Kerry didn't care. She watched.

The hair dryer turned on.

* * *

"Doctor Weaver?"

Kerry was in Doc Magoos, mostly staring at a piece of pie. "Randi?"

Randi pointed at the empty side of the booth, "Mind if I sit?" She had a plate of eggs etc. and a cup of coffee.

Kerry nodded, "Of course. Are you on today?"

Randi chuckled, "I'm on nearly every day Doctor Weaver, and my boss likes it if I'm not late and well... it's snowing. Heard you told Dave he wasn't a total idiot."

Kerry frowned at Randi, "Not... exactly. Randi, may I ask..."

Randi swallowed and answered Kerry's half asked question, "Why doesn't the whole hospital know about Thing One and Thing Two?"

Kerry raised her eyebrows, "Thing One and Thing Two?"

Randi glanced up at Kerry, "Would you rather I use their names? What can I say, I've been reading to much Doctor Seuss."

Kerry sighed, "Point to Fronczak."

Randi ate, silent for a few moments, "Why do you put up with me Doctor Weaver? We all put up with you 'cause, well, you could fire us. Why do you put up with me?"

Kerry pushed at her pie, "Would you like the truth or what I'd tell everyone else?"

Randi took a sip of her coffee, considering Kerry's question, "Both."

"Alright. You're good at your job. Better than Frank, better than Jerry ever was. I don't have to worry about the admit desk running smoothly when you're on. Sure, you don't dress the way I'd like you to..."

"'cept on Halloween."

Kerry raised an eyebrow, "Yes. Except on Halloween. But the patients have never complained, and it's only clothes."

"And the truth?"

Kerry put down her fork, "You piss off Robert."

A snorted laugh came from Randi and she covered her mouth, "Sorry. I was raised in a barn, at least according to my grandmother. And, seriously?" Kerry nodded, "I knew there was a reason I liked you. So. Thing One and Thing Two, do they know about each other?"

Kerry shook her head, "I, uh, I don't think so."

Randi wiggled her eyebrows, "Now, that sounds wayy too much like me. Playin' the field. Go girl."

"No, no... I... Honestly, I don't know what to do. With Kim, it's like. Wow, were we friends, lovers, whatever in another life. We understand each other. And with Sandy it's..." Kerry shook her head, "It's indescribable, and amazing too, and she's just infectious..." Randi looked a bit confused at that, "I... uh, not, I mean her mood, or her energy, her." Kerry sighed. "And I'm talking to you about this. I've totally gone 'round the bend. I should. I should have just stayed an alpha bitch nun, oh so much easier than this damn crap."

Randi finished her breakfast sopping up the last of the egg with the last of her bread, "Do what your heart tells you. Maybe Tall Thing's the one for you, forever and ever 'cause she makes ya zing and you can talk about Neuroleptic Therapies. Or maybe Short Thing's your soulmate 'cause she makes you laugh when you should be crying and keeps you going when you should stop. You'll figure it out. Just make sure it's your heart that does the decidin', not your brain." Randi narrowed her eyes, "You bein' safe with them Doctor Weaver?"

Kerry's face turned a deep, deep red, "Miranda Fronczak."

"What, just 'cause they're not guys doesn't mean you're one hundred percent sa..."

Kerry cut Randi off, "I am... with both, safe, yes... aghhh..."

Randi smiled, "Oh,..." Randi stood, "Ah, and you might wanna tell 'em about each other sorta soon, or it could get, uh, ugly."

Randi started to leave, but Kerry stopped her with a sentence. "Don't screw it up with Dave Randi."

Randi glanced back, "I'm your best clerk and you don't wanna break in a new Resident?"

Kerry shrugged, "Sure, we'll go with that."

Randi gave a faux salute, "Aye, aye, ma'am Doc."

Kerry rolled her eyes as Randi left Doc Magoos.

* * *

Kim hid behind the wall and winced as Elizabeth verbally bit into Kerry and wouldn't let go. The elevator meeting, forcing Kerry into a dinner with Christy and Kate was a stupid idea. The second she saw Kerry's face when she pointed out that the red head was wrong about her own schedule, she'd known she'd gone too far, but she couldn't stop her mouth from moving and making noise.

But, she could only move forward in time. So she waited until Elizabeth was gone and came around the corner. "What was that about?"

Kerry sighed, "Some days I really hate this job."

"You me," Kim smiled, "and everyone else around here. Are you ready?" There was no comprehension in Kerry's eyes so Kim prompted, "Dinner?"

"Right. Yes. I just have to drop this off, get my stuff in the lounge. I'll meet you outside." Kerry didn't look happy, but it didn't seem as bad as earlier in the day. "Carter, you've still got that leg lac waiting in sutures. Get that by Easter would you please?"

Kim winced as Carter got the chart stuffed in his chest. Or perhaps Kerry was still pissed and dinner was going to be a long ordeal. Kim jogged to keep with Kerry. The red head was short, but boy was she fast.

* * *

Sandy's head bobbed to the music as she made herself dinner. She'd paged Kerry to see if she was off and wanted to get together. She hadn't heard back, she hoped she hadn't heard back yet.

She had just put her fork in the chicken when the phone rang. She sighed, but reached over and answered on the second ring, "Lopez."

"Weaver."

Sandy smiled, "Hey Red. You got my page."

Sandy could have sworn she heard a sigh on the other end of the line. "I did."

Sandy frowned, "You sound tired. I was going to see if you wanted to come over after your shift, but if..."

Kerry cut Sandy off, "Not sure I can. And it may be late if I do."

When Kerry didn't continue Sandy spoke again, "Jake and Angelique are all excited for our next game. I think Angie just wants someone else there who doesn't know anything about hockey and can comment on the cute guys' butts."

"I... I need to go."

Sandy frowned down at her chicken. "Kerry. Are you okay?"

Kerry seemed to try to insert more life into her voice, "I'll try to stop by. Bye Sandy."

"Good. Love you."

A later there was a click and Sandy scrunched her face. Belatedly realizing what had just popped out of her mouth, "Ah, Damnit, damnit. Stupid, stupid idiot Lopez, stupid."

* * *

Kerry slid back into her seat at the table. The one from the hospital, Christy something, was speaking. "Nikki is dating guys now and Carol's getting married to one."

"Oh..." Kim gestured to the two women seated across the table. "Both of these women have marched in every gay pride parade for the last fifteen years."

The other woman, a tall blonde with straight hair, spoke, "I don't get it."

And Christy went at it again. Her voice seemed to carry and carry, the lawyer in her, Kerry guessed. "I do. You get society's blessing, your family's..."

Kim chimed in, "Survivor benefits, tax breaks."

Kerry was uncomfortable. Christy either hadn't noticed, or didn't rightly care. "And all you gotta do is lay there a couple times a week."

All three women cracked up. The laughter echoed off the windows and through the rest of the restaurant. Kerry dredged up a half a smile.

Kim realized Kerry was uncomfortable, and put a hand on the red head's arm. "I'm sorry, we're not usually this bad."

Kerry gave a way of her hand. Partially to decrease the tension, also to get Kim's hand off her arm. "It's okay."

And then, somehow, it got worse as Christy opened her mouth again, "Hey. Do you realize that everyone at this table has slept with Kim."

"Oh my God."

Now at least Kim was uncomfortable too. "Cut it out you guys."

Christy went in for the kills, "I bet she brought a U-Haul on your second date, right?"

Kerry's forced smile was back, she didn't like being laughed at and not getting the joke, "I don't understand."

Kim, meanwhile, sat there and could feel the dinner turning, flying out of her control and off a steep, steep cliff. She wondered if it had ever been in her control. "It's a lesbian joke." She shot Christy a look of death, trying to convey to her ex that she should shut the hell up, "A bad one." She turned to Kerry. "Do you want another drink?"

But Kerry was done. "Actually, I've got to go." She stood. "I have an early shift tomorrow."

"Kerry."

"It was really," she put on her jacket, "really nice to meet you both." And then she was out the door, so, so fast that Kim practically got whiplash.

Kim stood and Christy spoke, "Not worth it stretch."

"Shut up gable girl. Kate, tell her why she's an asshole."

Kim bypassed her coat, that would take too long, and hurried out the door after Kerry, "Wait. Are you upset?"

Kerry was sick of people asking that of her. Was she okay, was she upset, was she this, that or the other thing. "No."

"Well, why are you leaving then?"

Kerry turned, "I don't belong here. I don't belong here."

"I dated Christy in college," Kim wanted to touch Kerry, but they were in the middle of the sidewalk and if there was one thing she knew about Kerry Weaver after the months, it was that the red head didn't appreciate PDAs. So she didn't touch, just pleaded. "Kate and I dated for maybe a year..."

"...it's not that. It's... this isn't me, I mean, my experience, the jokes, your friends, I'm, I'm... I care about you Kim, I'm not interested in... I can't do this..."

Kim looked stunned, "Wow, I can't believe you just said that." She smiled.

Kerry stayed still for a moment, then turned, "I'll call you later." She caught a cab and Kim watched as she got in, slammed the door and it took off.

Kerry cared about her. Kerry was leaving her alone in front of a restaurant. This woman was going to be the death of her. She watched until she couldn't see the cab, and after that still didn't move, her arms crossed over her chest.

After a bit she felt an arm around her shoulder. "Come back inside Kimmy. You know that's just Christy's test for the newbies. She always does that."

Kim stared down at the ground, "I thought. She's such an amazing woman Kate. She takes on all comers and, and... I just thought. Christy is nothing compared to... compared to those she usually butts heads with and wins."

Kate was silent for a beat, "Maybe she thought that when you said dinner with friends that she'd get to relax. Not have to be Doctor Weaver, just get to be Kerry."

Kim closed her eyes, "She said she cared about me."

Kate chuckled and started to lead Kim back into the warmth, "Yep, that's our Kimmy, overlook the fact that you're still here and she's not, always the optimist."

* * *

Sandy paused her recording and answered the door. "Kerry."

Kerry came in the door and Sandy closed it behind her. "You, Red, look like utter and complete crap."

Kerry smiled a bit and saw the TV on, paused. She frowned, "Is that Anthony Stewart Head?"

"You watch Buffy?"

"Uh, he's the Taster's Choice guy." Kerry slowly turned and faced Sandy, "You watch it? Tell me you don't..."

Sandy winced, "Yep. And you're gonna leave now 'cause I watch Buffy The Vampire Slayer?"

Kerry turned towards the door and laughed when Sandy caught her around the waist and kissed where her neck pulsed with her heartbeat, "Are you going to suck my blood?"

Sandy chuckled into Kerry's neck, "That's Dracula Kerry, not Spike or Angel. And I'm sure I can find much more fun things to suck..."


	12. Chapter 12

February 22nd, 2001

* * *

"What the hell are you doing out here? This is an active scene Doctor Weaver. Sandy'll kill you for being here."

Kerry looked over and took two steps back as three firefighters rushed by, "I'm leaving."

Kerry started to turn away, but Brady caught her arm, "Doc." Kerry turned back and Brady shook his head. Deciding not to say whatever he was going to, "Be careful until you're off the scene."

Kerry nodded, "I will. Stay safe."

"Engine 17 always does, Sandy makes sure of that."

* * *

"Kerry?"

Kerry looked up and then gave a quick glance around the ER. Lydia was going into the lounge, so Kerry led Sandy to the suture room. Sandy frowned a bit, "You're hiding."

Kerry sighed, "I'm not a public person, and I'm tired. What is it you need?"

Sandy bristled, "I came by to make sure you're okay. I guess I shouldn't have." Sandy turned on her heel and stormed from the room.

Kerry put a hand on her forehead. "Damnit." Her cell phone rang and she answered, "Weaver."

"You are in reality quite horrible at sewing with yarn and crocheting. Ironic considering your name and profession."

Kerry smiled, "Mlungisi. You have perfect timing."

"I have been informed of that, yes. What?"

Kerry leaned against the bed in the room and sighed, "Let's see. I'm sleeping with two women." There was dead silence on the other end of the phone, "Mlungisi, did we get cut off?"

All joking dropped from Mlungisi's voice, "Are you well my Kerry? Should I come to Chicago? This is not at all like you my friend. You gave my brother hell for his two women."

Kerry sighed again, "It happened out of the blue Mlungisi. You've known me longer than I've known myself, so you can answer me a question."

Mlungisi chuckled. He'd been four when the Weavers had arrived in Kenya with the nine month old Kerry. "That I have. Your question?"

"Am I gay?"

There was a bit of a rebuke in Mlungisi's voice, "You know that I cannot know that, only you can."

"I loved you." Kerry closed her eyes, "I love you. You believe me, right?"

"I do Kerry."

Kerry opened her eyes and pushed off from the bed, "I need to go. Finish my shift. I'll call you soon though. You can tell me all about your preparation in Cambridge."

"Anytime my friend, and remember, I will be more than happy to let you marry me."

This made Kerry laugh, "Oh, you'll... let... me?"

"We would have beautiful children my Ker."

Kerry rolled her eyes, "Good-bye Mlungisi."

She could hear him give a dramatic sigh on the other end of the phone, "Good-bye my love, I will try to go on..."

Kerry shook her head as she hung up. Haleh stuck her head in the suture room door, "Another from the crash coming in. They were buried, should I get..."

"...no, I'm on my way."

* * *

"I'm sorry."

Kerry looked up. Kim. "I assumed that."

Kerry started walking and Kim kept talking, "I don't just mean for the jokes, and for Christy being an ass. She does that because she thinks no one is good enough for me."

"She's still in love with you." Kerry said it in a flat voice. The day had been hellish with all the victims of the train crash streaming in. She was tired, mentally and physically.

"No..." Kerry looked at Kim out of the corner of her eye. "Okay, you're probably right. But I'm not with her, and I'm sorry that I pushed you like I did. That I didn't listen."

Kerry nodded, "We need to talk, but..." Kerry looked around, it was still chaos. "Not tonight."

Kim stopped walking for a moment and then with a nod started again, "Okay. You have a suicidal ideation?"

They turned the corner together and started down the hall to where one Shannon Wallace was. "Young girl in Trauma Two."

"Does she have a plan?" Both women relaxed, they could do work, they were both on neutral ground there, worrying about other people's problems, not their own.

"Parked her car in front of a train."

Kim winced, "Oh, I suppose that qualifies."

"Also in a major depression."

"Flattened affect?" They stopped in front of the trauma room.

"No real remorse."

"About the suicide attempt?"

"About the train wreck."

Kim was struck speechless for just a second, "Oh, my." Kim paused, "I heard you were at the scene?"

Kerry shrugged, "For a bit. It was horrendous. I know that it has no bearing on anything, her problems are separate from everything she caused, but she caused a lot of death and destruction."

Kim paused, then gripped her clipboard closer to her chest, "If you need to talk."

Kerry shook her head, "I'm not off until midnight."

Kim shook her head, "That's okay."

Kerry glanced into the room where Shannon Wallace lay on a bed. "I'll probably just go home and crash. Thank you though." She put a hand on Kim's shoulder, "Thank you though."

* * *

Kerry was bone tired. She slowly climbed the stairs. She nearly fell back down them, but felt strong arms catch her. "Sandy." She blinked, "Are you okay?"

Sandy didn't speak, just hugged the ER Chief to her for a long minute. Finally Kerry managed to pull away, "Sandy, what's wrong?"

Sandy stood to one side, "We should go inside."

Kerry didn't move, "Why? Hey, I'm sorry for earlier, I was ti..."

Sandy glanced at the door and back to Kerry and cut off the red head, "Look. I can tell that you're not fully invested in this, us... I don't know why. Maybe you're still hung up on Romano, or, or not gay, or..."

Kerry interrupted Sandy, "No. Worse."

Sandy raised her eyebrows, thrown off, "Worse?"

Kerry nodded, "I... you came along, and she came along, and I... I wasn't expecting to fall in love with one woman, and here I am in love with two."

Sandy closed her eyes and sagged against the wall. "Thank God."

Kerry had a seriously confused look on her face, "Wait, what?"

Sandy pushed off the wall, opening her eyes, "See, competition, I can deal with that. But, if you were changing your mind, or really straight, or married, or... I don't know what." She ran a hand through Kerry's hair and cupped her cheek, "But I can woo. Ask around. I am a first rate woo-er. It's Doctor Legaspi, right?"

Kerry nodded, then raised an eyebrow, "Woo-er?"

Sandy smirked and kissed the tip of Kerry's nose, "Oh yeah. Now, you're gonna get some rest."

She started to guide Kerry down the stairs, "Sandy... what are you doing?"

"My place."

"Oh?"

Sandy stumbled over her words for the first time since Kerry had met her, "I... tomorrow. I just..."

Kerry silenced her with a long kiss that had them both warmer than the ambient temperature. "Lead the way Miss Woo-er."


	13. Chapter 13

March 1st, 2001

* * *

She hadn't told Kim yet. Sandy had taken it well, but she just hadn't found the exact perfect moment to tell Kim that she'd been dating Sandy too during the week. She knew that there was no perfect moment, that she was just making excuses for herself, but she couldn't stop it. It was like after years and years of being the perfect child, the perfect young adult, the perfect adult, the perfect doctor her wild oats were pouring out of her like she was a broken hot water heater.

And while she was lying to herself, they had been quite busy the night before. She stifled a yawn as she stepped out onto Kim's stoop and went down the stairs to get the paper. She was cold. She had the paper when a voice came from her right. "Doctor Legaspi?"

"No."

Two men, white and black, both tall and built like athletes approached her in suits, ties and trench coats. Cops. "I'm Detective Graham, this is Watkins, Chicago PD. We have this listed as a Doctor Legaspi's address."

"Everything all right?"

Detective Watkins spoke, "Does Doctor Legaspi live here?"

"Yes, she does, she's inside."

Detective Graham, "Who are you?"

Kerry looked between the two men. She knew most of the beat cops from around the hospital, but the Detectives didn't come to County quite as often, other than down to the morgue. "I'm Doctor Weaver."

Detective Watkins raised his eyebrows, "You live here too?"

"No, no, I don't, I'm just..." She trailed off, "You know, I don't wanna be rude, but I'm freezing."

Detective Graham was obviously used to taking the good cop role, "Oh, no, by all means. We just need to talk to Doctor Legaspi."

Kerry led the way up the stairs and into Kim's home. It was not an auspicious start to her day, and as she put down the paper and went to get Kim she had a sinking feeling it was only going to get worse.

* * *

"She just... she wants to hide Brady, hide us. I'm... I'm going to confront her. I thought, I can deal with the string bean, but she wants to hide us. When we went out with you and Angie, she pulled away and... damnit Brady. I love her. I'm going to confront her about it."

"Don't."

Sandy whipped a dart at the board and Brady winced. It was obvious that the sentiments she was speaking had been festering for quite a while. And Brady was also pretty sure that Sandy was lying to herself and she was really pissed at Kerry because the Doctor had been seeing both Kim and Sandy at the same time, but there was no way in hell that Brady was going to tell his LT that. "I'm not going through that again. I'm no one's... girlfriend in the bedroom and... friend in public." She whipped the second dart. "No. Not again."

"Angie sai..."

And the third dart flew from Sandy's hand, embedding itself deeply into the board, "Angie can suck eggs."

Brady chuckled and was rewarded with a look of death from Sandy. "You know that you two are alike."

Sandy rolled her eyes as she braced one hand against the wall and yanked out her darts. "We're nothing alike. She likes Opera, the Symphony..." Sandy shuddered, "Flower shows. I like Hockey, Buffy, violent and gory movies."

Brady sighed, "Yeah, poor stupid Sandra Lopez, that's your story right?"

Sandy whirled and pushed Brady backwards, "You know nothing."

Brady crossed his arms over his chest, "I know that if she looks down on you like that..."

"She doesn't." Sandy frowned, "I love her Brady."

"Why?"

Sandy sagged, "I don't know, if I knew then I would damn well stop it from happening. But, she's just... And now she's not there recently and she's pulling away, and..."

Brady shook his head, "Sandy..."

The alarm went off and whatever he was going to say went by the wayside as they slid down the pole to go fight a warehouse fire.

* * *

"I was called down to asses her suicidal ideation. It was my job to determine if the patient needed to be admitted." Kim's attention was only halfway on the two detectives as she watched Kerry walk around her kitchen in a coat. Looking very much like she was going to leave sooner rather than later.

She met Kerry's eyes and the red head was the one who looked away first. The Detective was saying something. "For a psych hold."

"Yes." Kim brought her attention back to the Detectives.

"And it was your professional opinion that she did."

Kerry was trying to be quiet. Kim could see it in the way she moved. Kim was sitting in her dining room being grilled by Detectives and Kerry was leaving.

"Doctor Legaspi."

"Yes, she was, uh, was confused about her sexual identity. She was clinically depressed and had spent a considerable amount of time planning to hurt herself."

* * *

"Bloody Mary is back."

Kerry winced. That meant that Kim would be appearing sooner rather than later. She didn't know how to explain her reaction when the Detectives appeared to herself, how she would explain it to Kim was way above her brain's pay grade. She had been acting the same way with Sandy, in public, in front of other people she just had this fear that came over her every time Sandy or Kim were anywhere near her in anyway that was not just friendly. It was pissing her off, and she couldn't figure out how to stop herself from doing it.

A gurney came hurtling through the ambulance bay door and Kerry took a step towards it, but Luka was there faster and first. "I've got it Kerry."

Kerry started to retreat when she saw Sandy slowly making her way through the same entrance. "Sandy?"

Sandy nodded, her teeth gritted, "Yeah. Warehouse fire. You've got at least one more of Company B comin' your way and that..." She glanced where Luka had taken the gurney, "Is my fuckin' hard headed go in first think later big brother Eddie. Thinks 'cause his sister's a firefighter that all of a sudden he can change from a policeman to a fireman"

Kerry looked towards the trauma room and back, "You're hurt, let me..."

Sandy quickly shook her head, "Bumped my shoulder. The other one coming in, he's worse off than Eddie. It's Brady. I'll be fine. Don't let him die Ker, Red, please."

Kerry nodded, "Randi." The clerk just appeared, "Call whoever Sandy needs you to."

Randi nodded, "Got it Chief."

Kerry started towards the bay, she could already hear the ambulance's sirens. She paused by Sandy and put a hand on her shoulder, "He'll be okay."

* * *

Kim got off the elevator. Someone had called about another suicidal ideation. She dreaded it, but she hadn't done anything wrong in the case of Shannon Wallace. She blinked and came to a full stop. Kerry and a short woman in firefighter gear, Sandy, stood in the ambulance bay. Kim watched as Kerry put a hand on Sandy's arm. The blonde frowned.

* * *

"We're going to move you to your own room. Okay Mary?"

After her first consult it felt as though she'd been down in the ER for the entire day, one thing after another.

"What if Jesus comes for me and I'm not here?"

Kim was just glad that Kerry was having a busy day too and they hadn't run into one another. "I'll let one of the nurses send him upstairs."

"Will you?" Mary sat up a bit.

One side of Kim's mouth creased into a grin, but it didn't quite make it up to her eyes. "Yeah."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Kerry popped into the room, taking Kim by surprise, "Got a minute?"

Kim didn't answer, just clutched the clipboard to her chest and followed Kerry out into and down the hallway. "So, bloody Mary's back eh?"

"Oh, she's harmless."

Kerry bit her lip, "Tried to page you."

Kim didn't point out she hadn't gotten one. "Yeah, well, it's been pretty crazy, not just because of the patients."

"So, what was this thing with the police?"

Kim tried humor first, "Oh, you shoulda stuck around."

"Yeah, I had to be on at seven."

"So did I."

Kerry bumped her butt through the bathroom door and they both entered, though Kim did not look anywhere happy about it. Humor hadn't worked.

Kerry tried to make her case, "I didn't abandon you on purpose."

Kim's face was the epitome of flat affect even as her insides roiled. "I didn't say you did."

"What did they say."

"They were following up on Shannon Wallace. The attempted suicide that caused that train derailment. They probably want to talk to you."

Kerry frowned, "Why?"

Kim laid it out there. "That patient has accused me of sexual harassment."

"What?"

Kim sighed, "Yeah, she told the police that I came onto her and I touched her." Kim shook her head.

"Why would she say such a thing?" Kerry took a step closer.

"Well, she caused over thirty deaths, she's probably trying to," Kim let one hand off her clipboard and it dropped just a bit, "divert the heat off of herself."

Kerry looked confused, "Yeah, but why would she accuse you of that. How would she know that you were..."

As Kerry trailed off Kim inwardly groaned, Kerry couldn't even say the word. "...gay? I told her."

Kerry went from confused to stunned, "You what?"

"I was trying to help her."

"Oh Kim..." Kerry put a hand to her head, "Kim, what were you thinking?"

Kim didn't respond with the words that were on the tip of her tongue, that she didn't need Kerry to sound like her mother, she already had one. "I don't know Kerry, that she needed help?"

"Yeah, so you disclose your personal life to an unstable patient who you don't even know?"

They were fighting. Kim had thought that they'd never fight. After the beginning, with the misunderstandings they'd had such smooth sailing, "I.. I.."

Kim was saved from having to come up with an answer as Haleh stuck her head in the bathroom, "Brady's crashing."

"Okay."

As Kerry rushed out of the room, Kim called after her, "I'll see you later."

"Yeah."

* * *

Kerry let out a breath. Eddie was upstairs getting operated on, though it wasn't anything serious. Brady was stable again and had been transferred to the ICU. She handed a chart to Chuny and winced as she spotted Detective Graham coming at her. She glanced both ways, but was stuck. She just needed to make it as short an interaction as she could.

He stopped by the admit desk. Kerry took a chart and started down the hall to the suture room. "You ran off before I got a chance to talk to you this morning."

"Why would you want to talk to me?"

They came to a stop by the door to sutures and Detective Graham continued, "You saw a patient by the name of Shannon Wallace that Doctor Legaspi also..."

She cut him off, "Yes, I called for the Psych consult."

"But you didn't stay with her?"

Kerry shook her head, "No, we had a mass casualty situation. She only had minor injuries."

"So, you effectively left Doctor Legaspi alone with the patient."

Kerry paused, "I suppose."

"Are you aware that the patient said Doctor Legaspi sexually assaulted her."

Kerry caught a glimpse of Luka out of the corner of her eye and lowered her voice, "And it's ridiculous. The woman had psychological problems. I mean, she tried to kill herself."

Detective Graham nodded, "Yes, but we have to follow up the accusation. What exactly is your relationship with Doctor Legaspi?"

There was the question Kerry had been hoping to avoid, "We're friends."

"Do you live together?"

Kerry didn't want to answer that one either. "No."

"But you were at her house earlier this morning?"

Kerry couldn't take it. She just couldn't. It felt like her head was going to explode and take the rest of the ER with it. A fear that even as her brain admitted was stupid and nonsensical, after all most of the ER staff already despised her, could they really despise her more for being gay, but still the fear burned at the back of her mind. "To be honest, I really don't have time for this right now."

The Detective looked like he was going to say something else, but his beeper went off. He stared at it for a minute and moved away from Kerry. She turned and nearly slammed into Sandy. "Oh..." She blinked, "Right, you had an arm injury. I should look at names on charts, shouldn't I."

Sandy put a hand on Kerry's shoulder and frowned when Kerry shrugged it off, "If you're not just dating me, I'm not angry. I understand."

Kerry glanced at the admit desk, "I'll, uh, get someone else to..."

Sandy had to jog to catch up with Kerry as the redhead went back to the admit area. Sandy finally did. "Ker... Kerr. Talk to me."

Kerry turned, "Sandy, I'm busy, I..." Sandy took a step closer and Kerry took one back.

Before Kerry could take another breath Sandy put her hands on either side of Kerry's face and kissed the redhead.

Kim stepped out of the elevator and started to the admit desk. She stumbled to a stop as she saw Kerry being kissed by Sandy. A long kiss, a passionate kiss.

Kim turned her back on the scene. She had to think, or not think. She had to get herself together because she was still on, and she wouldn't let Kerry Weaver hurt how she treated her patients.

Sandy pulled away from Kerry and the firefighter simply turned and left. Kerry stood there, stunned, for a moment, then grabbed a chart, any chart, and escaped the admit area.

Randi glanced around at the ER staff at the admit desk, "You have a problem with what just happened Chen?"

Jing-Mei looked over at the clerk, surprised, "Excuse me?"

Randi let her gaze sweep everyone from Chuny to Chen and Frank, "She's been through hell, over and over, any one of you, you screw her in any way..."

Abby interrupted with a smirk, "Even literally?"

Randi glanced over at the nurse and let a smile come to her face, "No, feel free to get in line though..."

Chuny groaned, "Gah, like havin' sex with your mother."

Abby gave her fellow nurse a shove, "I didn't need that picture of my mother in my head Chuny."

Chuny smiled oh so innocently, "You have exam four?" Abby nodded, "Okay." With that, everyone scattered except Jing-Mei.

She twitched the collar of her lab coat, "I don't like Doctor Weaver, that doesn't mean I want to make her life miserable." Jing-Mei shook her had, "Apparently she can do that all by herself."

* * *

Kim and Kerry entered an exam room on the Psych ward and Kim gently closed the door. She stood with her back to Kerry. It had been Kerry who had sought her out, but she decided that she wasn't going to wait for the ER chief to speak first, but cut to the chase herself. "Were you going to tell me?"

Kerry stood still, staring at the floor.

Kim waited a minute, then two for an answer, when she didn't get one she turned. Kerry hadn't moved, she simply stared out the glass wall past where Kim was standing.

Kim turned again. On the other side of the glass was a young woman trying with all her might to escape from a male and a female nurse. Kim frowned as she faced Kerry again, "Kerry?"

Kerry looked up, "I'm not sure when I was planning on telling you. Just as I'm not sure how I got into this position in the first place." She paused, "Hell, I wasn't sure whether I'd ever come out at work, but, Sandy took that conundrum off my to do or not to do list for me I guess."

Kim's frown increased, "You mean you didn't..."

Kerry finished Kim's thought, ".. know she was going to kiss me? No. Was it the first time she'd kissed me, no. So, now you forgive me."

Kim met Kerry's eyes, surprised, "Ker..."

Kerry held a hand up, "That was sarcasm. No, I know that I should have told you, should have told Sandy, but I... Three times before I really thought I was in love. With Mlungisi we had the friendship down, but not the sex. With Robert, the sex was astounding, but we found we couldn't stand each other."

Kim made a face and Kerry winced, "Oh, uh, sorry about the image."

Kim cleared her throat, "And the third?"

"Inconsequential jerk off who hopefully has really itchy poison ivy for the rest of his life."

A laugh bubbled from Kim and she shot Kerry a look, "Stop it. I'm mad at you."

"And you're facing a disciplinary hearing."

Kim crossed her arms over her chest, "Yes. I am. Romano won't fire me, but he'll suspend me for sure."

Kerry shook her head, "He can't. You're not guilty, and if he does, that' like he's admitting you're guilty on your behalf."

Kim sighed and Kerry took a step forward. She gently uncrossed Kim's arms and held onto the blonde's hands. "I've never loved anyone like I love you two, both of you, and I... I don't know."

Kim looked down at their intertwined hands, then to Kerry's face again. "You know, I was worried you'd change your mind. That this would turn out to just be an experiment. Guess I was wrong huh?" She slipped her hands form Kerry's, "I need time." With that she left Kerry alone in the room.


	14. Chapter 14

Sandy hopped off the ambulance and helped Doris yank out the stretcher. Doris shook her head, "You planning on joining your brother in the EMT ranks?"

Sandy gave a short laugh, "Nah, all that blood, no fire. I just need to ta..."

It was a cheap shot. She had taken punches in her life, but had always been ready for them. She was okay when she was ready for them, but this one was a cheap shot that she never saw coming. Sandy's head snapped to the side and she crashed to the ground. She wasn't there for long as she sprang to her feet and swung at whomever had hit her. She connected and the other person crumbled to the ground.

Sandy took a step back as her adrenaline rush subsided. "Guess my shoulder's okay." She stared down at Kim a the blonde moved her jaw one way, the the other. "Is your inner cave woman satisfied now?"

Kim got to her knees and slowly to her feet, "You outed her for... for... you had no right to do that."

"Yeah, and I was coming back to apologize to her. I go through life for myself, always have, so I outed her, it was stupid, and I should have thought first, but I didn't."

"You say that, like, like... it's no big deal."

Sandy bit back, "I said I wasn't thinking."

Kim took a step towards Sandy, "Do you ever think?"

"You gonna take another cheap shot? I'll even give you another free one, c'mon. I heard about the crazy girl, I may not be a high class doc like you, but I get transferring your anger to me, c'mon, I can take it. Take it out on me. Least that means you're not putting it on Ker."

Kim poked a finger at Sandy, "You know nothing of Kerry and me."

Sandy shrugged, "And you know nothing of Kerry and me. So we're even. She lied to both of us. You got pissed at her, probably went all silent and introspective, I outed her. Now what?"

Kim crossed her arms over her chest, "We move on."

Sandy's hands were on her hips, "Or we forgive her."

"Those are the choices."

"Kim." Kerry blinked as she got halfway to where Sandy and Kim stood, "Sandy."

Kim glanced between Sandy and Kerry and with a shake of her head turned, "I'll let you two talk. I have to get ready for my dismissal."

Kerry caught Kim's arm as the taller woman passed, "I'll be there."

Kim stared at Kerry for a long moment, then simply nodded and kept walking, disappearing into the ER.

That left Kerry in front of Sandy. Sandy took a step forward and when Kerry didn't run screaming a second step. They were only an arm's length away from each other. "I came her for two reasons. First, to apologize. Sometimes I think that my mother dropped me on my head when I was a baby, and every now and then I do something so insanely stupid it's a wonder that civilization doesn't just revoke my ID card."

Kerry was silent for a long moment and then mumbled something that Sandy couldn't hear, "What'd you say?"

Kerry cleared her throat, "You did me a favor. I can't say that I liked what you did, but... Anyway, I said that I forgive you."

"Oh."

"And the second reason?"

Sandy blinked, "What, oh, I... I thought it would take more convincing. I was..."

"You outed me without consulting me. I dated the two of you without telling either of you. Those two things are not quite even, but life's not generally even and so I forgive you, because what I did was..." She trailed off and shook her head, "I have to get back, the second thing?"

Sandy nodded and took another step forward so that they were in each other's personal space. "We should take a break, so you have space to think. Make a choice."

Kerry frowned, "A choice, you still..."

"I love you Red. I've never felt anything like this. I want to..." she raised an eyebrow a substitution for a word since they were at Kerry's workplace, "...you senseless until we wake the neighbors at our assisted living facility years from now. But I also want to sit through Carmen and Madam Butterfly and Mahler..."

A quick burst of laughter came from Kerry, "Sorry."

Sandy sighed, "What'd I say?"

"Mahler." Kerry shuddered.

This garnered a smile from Sandy, "Okay. No Mahler, and I want to teach you to love hockey and watch you bicker with my family about Cubs versus White Sox." A slight smirk came to Sandy's lips. "Watch my mother's head pop off her neck as I bring home a whiter than white red headed mostly atheist who roots for the Cubs."

Sandy took a step back and smiled a smile that tried to but didn't make it to her eyes, "But I want you to be with me because you want to, you and Kim, even though I don't want to see it, you fit together just right. Like Willow and Tara, like two perfect puzzle pieces. So I'm gonna give you space."

With that Sandy turned and walked out of the ambulance bay, leaving Kerry standing there, alone with her thoughts once again.

The red head nearly jumped as an arm went around her shoulder. She looked over, "Haleh?"

"It'll be okay."

Kerry took a breath in and slowly let it out, "I don't know if it will."

"The nurses are behind you if you need us Doctor Weaver." Kerry looked over again and Haleh elaborated, "You've always treated us with respect and try to teach your students to do the same. That's what matters to most of the people in your ER, not who you sleep with."

Kerry patted Haleh's hand and the nurse let go. "Thank you Haleh."

She started to go back inside and Haleh spoke to her back, "Go with Kim. I have twenty bucks on her in the pool."

Kerry grumbled under her breath, "Randi..."

* * *

Kerry entered the conference room and was greeted by Romano. "Doctor Weaver, better late than never. Let's cut to the chase, shall we, so we can all get out of here and go home." Kerry met Kim's gaze and a million things popped into her head that she wanted to say. She stuffed them all down and turned to face the two men at the table.

"Okay. Doctor Legaspi recently, for whatever reasons, had what I hope was a momentary lapse in judgment."

Kim wasn't going down without a fight, "I take offense to that."

"Really? I take offense to you having come out to a patient, which was grossly inappropriate."

Donald Anspaugh sat forward, interrupting Romano's flow, "Doctor Legaspi is a valuable asset to the Psychiatry department as well as this hospital as a whole, I think that her instincts were correct and her intentions very honorable considering the situation."

"Honorable perhaps."

"C'mon Robert." Don's voice rang with the tone of a father disciplining his son.

Romano, of course, didn't listen, "Stupid definitely."

Kim took advantage of the fact that the two men were entirely focused on one another and glanced over at Kerry. After a moment Kerry looked up and met Kim's eyes, although it was only briefly.

Kim realized that she had no idea what, if anything Kerry would say, to help or to hurt her case.

Don wasn't done with Romano, "Patients with psychological problems falsely accuse their doctors of all sorts of things. I had a guy today who blamed me for hypnotizing him in order to drink his blood."

Romano was nothing if not single minded in his pursuit of a goal, "Well, we'll have to look into that another day Donald, but the fact is to the best of my knowledge you are not actually a Vampire. Doctor Legaspi, however, is a lesbian, am I right?"

Kim focused mostly on Donal, her apparent ally, "I've never hidden that fact from this administration, or from my colleagues."

Romano inclined his head, "Or from your patients, therein lies the problem."

Kim was starting to get hot under the collar, "There's a difference between being gay and being a child molester."

Kerry bit the inside of her lip at that and realized that the meeting was going to get ugly before it ended.

Romano winced, "Okay. My recommendation is administrative leave, pending the criminal hearing."

Don jumped in, "I think that premature."

"No, it's preemptive. If we get really lucky there won't be charges and you can come right back to work having learned a lesson. Albeit the hard way."

Kerry gave a quick glance at Kim and blinked in surprise, she'd never seen the blonde so riled, her hands on her hips, staring daggers through Romano's head. And her eyes, they seemed to be brighter than ever, as if her anger was being channeled through them. Kerry swallowed and turned back to stare at the nothing in front of her.

Romano turned to Kerry, "You have anything to add Doctor Weaver?"

A million things flew through her brain, how she hated it when he called her that because he seemed to say her title with so much disdain. How he was a pompous asshole who should kiss Kim's ass for putting up with him, "I... No.. yes, uh, I..."

Romano rolled his eyes, "Are you sure now Kerry?"

Kim sighed and let her head drop to stare at the floor. She idly wondered where the take charge and take names kick ass doctor she'd met months ago had gone, and if it was partially her fault that that doctor was gone.

But Kerry wasn't done. She met Romano's eyes and took a step forward. she nearly laughed as she saw Romano flinch just a tiny bit. "This isn't about Kim. This is about a confused and disturbed young woman who would rather kill herself than deal with being gay. I think what Kim did was slightly stupid, yes, but for the briefest second in my ER after Sandy..." Kerry paused, "After she kissed me I had one stray thought that popped into my brain out of nowhere. That I wished I could simply cease to exist. The difference is that I'm an adult and I know that killing myself wouldn't solve anything, that ceasing to exist wouldn't solve anything. That my life won't end if other people know that I've fallen in love with a woman, with two women. If I lose friends, my job, almost anything, life may suck for awhile, but it's not the end of the world. Shannon Wallace hasn't been through the shit I've been through, she hasn't lived through my four years of hell that masqueraded as high school and come out scratched but relatively whole on the other side. She needed to know that after people come out, after they got through anything that changes the world's view of them so much, that it may not be easy, but that they survive, and can even thrive. What Kim didn't wasn't perfect, but you, I... and every damn doctor has had a case like Wallace. We share just a bit too much of ourselves because we find we care, maybe we can relate, we see ourselves in the patient."

Kerry took another step towards the table, "That is not sexual harassment and you damn well know it Robert." She trailed off.

Romano raised his eyebrows, "That was quite a speech, are you done?"

There was a glint in Kerry's eyes, "Honestly Robert, would you like me to keep going? Who knows where we'll end up."

For the first time since Kerry had entered Romano seemed thrown off for a second, "She's under investigation."

Kerry put her hands on her hips, "An investigation that will find nothing and the charges will be dropped. This isn't a doctor playing doctor death or someone skimming funds Robert. No suspension. Period."

The room went quiet. After nearly a minute Romano stood, "I guess that's it then." He glanced at Kim. "Don't come out to any other patients, at least until the cops clear you." He left without another word. Leaving a relieved Kim, a worn out Kerry and a happy Don in the room.

Don also stood from his seat and approached the two women, "That was, eloquent Kerry." Kerry inclined her head and Don addressed Kim, "Pay no attention to him. This too will pass." He patted her on the arm and left the two women alone in the conference room.

"Shall."

Kim looked over at Kerry, "What?"

Kerry shook her head, "It's shall, not will. From a Jewish folktale about King Solomon. The Hebrew letters gimel, zayin, and yud, which stand for the words Gam zeh ya'avor, which, I guess, since I don't actually know Hebrew, just the story, translate to 'This too shall pass'." Kerry trailed off, "It doesn't matter." She turned and had her hand on the door.

Kerry frowned as Kim's hand stopped her from opening it. Their eyes met. "I'm not her, I can't just forgive and forget. I'm not... I can't. That doesn't mean that we can't move past it, in the future, maybe, but..." Kim stared down at the floor.

"I'm sorry."

Kim looked up, "That's not, it doesn't..."

Kerry shook her head, cutting Kim off, "I didn't say it before. I tried to explain, excuse, but I didn't apologize for not telling you about Sandy, for omitting the truth," Kerry paused, "for lying."

Kim opened the door and let Kerry leave first, "Thank you for that, but..." Kerry nodded as they stepped in front of the elevator. "Up or down?"

Kerry shook her head, "I'll get the next one."

Kim nodded, her clipboard firmly hugged to her chest. "Thank you for what you said in there to Romano."

The elevator arrived and Kim got on. Kerry shook her head in response to Kim's thanks, "I only did what I should have done this morning."

The elevator door closed and Kerry leaned against the wall by it. After a moment she pushed off and punched the up button. She needed time alone.

* * *

"Oh, sorry Chie... Doctor Weaver. I'll leave."

Kerry stared out into the night. "Has your day sucked as much as mine?"

"Got strangled and told not to come into work the rest of the week."

Kerry turned, "Excuse me?"

Dave came to a stop next to Kerry at the ledge by the edge of the roof. "Doctor Greene didn't tell you. I got into a scuffle with an asshole father of a patient." Before Kerry could comment Dave continued, "He attacked me."

Kerry hid a smile, "After you baited him with words?"

Dave was silent, then sighed, "Yeah."

Kerry let him dangle for a moment, then shrugged, "Good thing Mark's not in charge. You work your shifts as usual. Have Mark find me if he gives you crap about it."

"Can do Chief... sorry."

Kerry shook her head, and chuckled, "Dave. You calling me Chief is the least of my problems today."

"Sandy said I call you it 'cause I respect you as well as want to annoy you."

Kerry laughed, it felt good to laugh, "Do you?"

Dave shrugged, "You rag on me a lot. More than the rest of them. But, shit rolls down hill right?"

Kerry turned to face Dave, "I come down hard on you because you're not using your ability."

Dave snorted a laugh, "I screwed around in high school, went to a no name college, and med school I have no idea why I was accepted into the Residency program at County."

Kerry's jaw worked, "Because I accepted you David. You have two choices for how your life will turn out. You screw up so many times, you let your anger lead, let you stubbornness about asking for help, asking to be taught, screw over your career and you wind up a bitter EMT who 'could have been' a great doctor. Or, you step up, let someone teach you and get a hold of your anger. Maybe you'll be lucky and turn into a great ER doctor, the likes of David Morgenstern or Mark Greene."

"Or you."

Kerry shook her head and looked back out at the night, "Now, that's just sucking up."

Dave smirked, "Hey, gotta get on your good side, be a fly on the wall for a make out session. Either with the doc or the firefighter, doesn't really matter to Dave the fly."

"David."

Dave smiled, "Hey, a guy can dream, right Chief?"

Kerry sighed, "Why did I even get up this morning?"


	15. Chapter 15

April 19th, 2001

* * *

Kerry sat at the bar, waiting for her plane. To Vegas, which, being a desert just had to be drier. It was like someone had connected the skies directly to the oceans and hit the cycle button. Raining cats and dogs would have been an improvement.

She took a sip of her wine.

"Shady." Kerry glanced over her shoulder at the man who had spoken, "Five down."

"Oh. Thank you."

"Stuck on a layover?"

Kerry wrote the word and put down her pen. "No, my flight's delayed."

"You mean canceled."

Kerry glanced up at the display on the other side of the room, "No, it still says delayed."

The man smiled, "Ah, an optimist."

Kerry smiled at the inaccuracy of the man's statement, but didn't correct him. "Where are you trying to get to?"

"Ah, Las Vegas." She took a sip.

"Oh, so, you're not an optimist, it's a compulsion."

She smiled at that.

"What do you play?"

She shook her head, "I, ah, I'm going there on business."

The guy's beer arrived and he reached for his wallet. "And whatever the lady's drinking."

Kerry sat back, "No thank you."

"We may be here for awhile."

Kerry smiled uncomfortably. All she wanted was the peaceful anonymity of the chaos of an airport to contemplate how to make her life suck less. "I'm fine, thanks."

He peeled off the bills, "Either he's getting a very big tip, or, you're getting a free drink." He smiled and left her alone.

The bartender had the bottle of her wine in hand and waited. Finally Kerry shrugged and the bartender poured.

* * *

"Uh, Doc, can we talk?"

Kim looked up, "Dave?"

"You... you can see doctors that work here?"

Kim sat up a bit straighter behind her desk, "Yes, I can, I do."

Dave closed the door, "And it just stays between us?"

Kim nodded, "Unless you plan to hurt yourself or hurt someone else, yes."

Dave didn't sit, just paced towards the couch and turned, "Do I have to sit? Lie down?"

Kim shook her head, "Nope. Stand, pace, whatever makes you comfortable."

Dave nodded and stared at the abstract art on Kim's wall, "You should get something that looks like something." Kim waited silently, "I have a temper, and I have a kid, and more than anything Doc, I don't want to be like my father. I never want to even come close to hitting DJ."

Kim sat back in her desk chair and folded her hands in her lap, "Dave Junior?" Dave nodded, "So. How old is he?"

* * *

Kerry stared into nothingness, her MacBook on, but ignored, in front of her. "How was that wine?"

He was back like a foot fungus she couldn't get rid of. "It was very nice, thanks."

"I'm getting a refill, you want one?"

Kerry shook her head, "No, really, I shouldn't."

"Oh, c'mon, you're not driving." He smiled.

Kerry raised an eyebrow, "You're tenacious."

He flashed his most charming smile, "May I?" It was too bad that he didn't know he had no chance, that to Kerry his eyes were too dull and his smile was quite lackluster.

Still, Kerry was bored, and since the place was packed he probably would have a hard time finding another seat, so she let him sit, "Sure."

"I'm Mike."

He held out his hand and Kerry shook it, "Hi Mike, I'm Kerry."

"Workin' on your novel?"

"Ah..." She trailed off and decided to go for the truth, "No, a couple of pro con lists."

He nodded, "Trying to come to a decision on something."

"Someone... ones actually."

Mike waggled his eyebrows, "The plot thickens." He narrowed his eyes at Kerry, "You're not a serial killer trying to decide between me and the buff black haired guy at the bar, are you?"

Kerry chuckled, "No, just two... relationships."

"Only two?" Kerry shrugged, "So, what do you do when you're not creating pro con lists Kerry?"

"Uh, I'm a doctor."

Mike was impressed, "Really?"

"Emergency Medicine."

Mike sat back, "Brains too." That brought a blush to Kerry's cheeks, "That's impressive."

"Thanks."

* * *

"Carlos is getting married."

Brady frowned, "Seriously?"

Sandy nodded, "Yep. Mama's ecstatic."

"Did he get her preggers?"

Sandy gave Brady a shove, "Remember who you're talking to Jake-y."

Brady held his hands up, "Just a joke. So, has the red haired one called?"

"No, and drop it."

"Right."

Sandy sighed, "She's going to Vegas. Some conference about billing or something. Meeting her oldest friend. A guy she probably should have married in the first place."

Brady whacked Sandy on the shoulder, "She's gonna go, win money, sow some wild oats." Sandy raised an eyebrow, "Or not. And then come back and choose you LT. She'd be crazy not to." The alarm went off, and just like that they were onto anther call in the pouring rain.

* * *

"Do you know your schedule or do you want to call me tomorrow? Or if I"m down for a consult, find me so we can set up more meetings?"

Dave stood and nodded, "Yeah, uh... I'll find you. Or call up here tomorrow." He paused as Kim also stood, "It was Doctor Weaver who put it in my head to see you."

"Me specifically?"

He shook his head, "No, no... uh, in general. She sorta said that I should get my shit together or she'd boot my ass from the program."

Kim raised an eyebrow, "Those words exactly?"

Dave colored a bit, "Well, no." He paused, "I never knew my Mom, ya think she's like a mom figure?" A laugh came from Kim as she covered her mouth. Dave gave Kim a speculative look, "Yeah, I'm not up on all the rules of psychotherapy-ness, but I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to laugh when I say things like that."

Kim shook her head and cleared her throat, "Sorry Dave, I just... I pictured you telling her that."

Dave chuckled lightly, "Yeah, Kim, I'm not the brightest bulb around, but even I know better than to say those words to her." He paused, "For the record, I think she'll pick you. Put money on it."

Kim narrowed her eyes, "We may have to talk about the gambling."

"You're deflecting."

Kim opened her door, "And you should stick to Emergency Medicine Dave."

"In all seriousness, she'd be crazy not to want to pick you. You're gorgeous, funny, got legs that never st..."

Kim put a hand over Dave's mouth, "Bye Dave..."

Dave whistled as he made his way down the hall and Kim shook her head and closed her door. She strode back to her desk as its phone rang. "Legaspi."

"Young lady, I have a mind to jump on a plane to Chicago, take you over my knee and give you a good spanking."

Kim winced, "Hey Mom."

"Kimberly. What is going on in your head these days. That email..."

"I'm sorry Mom, I..." Kim sat down behind her desk and sat back in the chair. "Did you and Dad ever... you were in high school when you met, did you guys date other people too?"

A sigh came from the other end of the phone, "Oh dear, dear, dear monogamous daughter. Of course, it was high school. He broke my heart by dating Celia, then we got back together and I ripped his to shreds by dating Victor, now, there... was a specimen of a ma..."

"MOM."

A chuckle came through the phone, "Sorry. Did you two talk about it in between bouts of amazing sex Kimberly? Whether or not you were... going steady for lack of a better phrase?"

Kim groaned, "Mom."

"I'll take that as a no then. So, really, you have no one to blame but yourself. Aren't you the one who advocates for communication in relationships?" Kim didn't answer, "Hon, if she loves you and you love her, it will work. Look at your father, he managed to hang on long enough for me to realize that Victor was quite the... I believe the common colloquialism is... douche bag."

Kim chuckled, "Thanks Mom. I love you."

"I love you too Kimberly. And remember, if she's so amazingly blind and stupid as to choose wrong, and this other... woman. We're here for you, always."

"I know. I've got to go, my next patient. Bye."

"Take care honey."

* * *

"Really, eyes are on the pro list?"

Kerry shrugged, "Oh, these eyes, they're, they steal your soul."

Mike chuckled, "So, with two guys after your heart I have no chance huh?" Kerry shrugged, "So, eyes, smiles... they both have good jobs, any jobs?"

"Firefighter and Doctor."

"Ah..." Mike smirked, "Now, are we talking a Mister July firefighter or one where all the muscles are carefully hidden?"

"Ah..." Kerry smiled and shook her head, "Not much is hidden with either of them."

Mike glanced up as a boarding announcement blared over the loud speaker, "I guess you were right, some of those flights were just delayed. That's mine."

He stood, "Thanks for the drink."

Kerry nodded, "And thanks for the company. Really."

Mike took out his wallet and pulled a card from it. "If you ever find your dream guys lacking, give me a call. I'm in Chicago almost once a week sometimes." Kerry took the card and stared down at it while Mike continued, "Enjoy Las Vegas Kerry."

"Thanks."

He left and she stared at the card for one more long moment. The waiter came to clear their table and Kerry smiled to herself. It wasn't about lists or the eyes or the smile or any of that. It was who she didn't just want to be with, but needed to be with.

She scrunched up Mike's card and put it on the waiter's tray as he left the table.

She knew who she wanted. Now all she had to do was get up the guts to hurt the other one.


	16. Chapter 16

May 17th, 2001

* * *

"Oh..." Kerry gripped her chest, "Kim. You scared me."

Kim only looked a bit sheepish, "Sorry. You're on?"

"Yes."

"You're avoiding me?"

Kerry and Kim climbed down the stairs, "Actually, no. I haven't been here. The conference, then I took some time, I have more vacation time than I know what to do with. I went to Massachusetts to see Mlungisi. Saw a Red Sox game with him. Tried to forget about Chicago."

"Okay."

Kerry put a hand on Kim's arm as they approached the ambulance bay. "I'll see you later."

* * *

The kid was breathing. Almost all the foster care facility kids had lived. Kerry took off her bloody gown and threw it in the bin. She watched as her ER worked like a finely tuned clock.

Haleh interrupted Kerry's reverie, "He shot Adele."

Kerry frowned and Romano appeared out of nowhere, "The social worker?"

* * *

Sandy ran along side the gurney. "You're gonna be okay C... okay. You will be, stay with me, stay with me little brother."

She came to a screeching halt in front of Lydia. "Where's Kerry?"

"A break. Doctor Romano."

Romano appeared, "What do you have." The EMT next to Sandy started to speak, but couldn't. So Sandy did. "Shot by the windbreaker guy while treating smoke inhalation vics from the fire. I don't know where he was shot. No exit wound, just entrance.." She took a step back and let Romano, Green and the Nurses work on her brother. It just got to be too much, and she backed out of the Trauma room and slammed into a taller body. She turned and a bitter laugh came out. "Kim. Of course."

Kim didn't speak, just put an arm around Sandy. "Romano is an ass. But he is the best surgeon this hospital has, and Greene doesn't suck either."

Sandy looked around, "Where's Kerry?"

Kim shook her head, "I don't know."

* * *

Kerry stopped Abby on way back into the ER. The red head stood against the wall of the ambulance bay, taking a half a second to just breathe the real air. They were all being run ragged and Kerry wondered if this guy would ever stop his rampage, or if there was anyone out there who would finally catch up with him and stop him. "Adele?"

Abby shook her head, "They're not sure, but so far still no feeling in her legs."

"Damnit."

Abby put a hand on Kerry's shoulder, "But she's alive. You comin' in?"

Kerry nodded, "Of course. Until they find him, we just have to..."

"Keep on, keepin' on." Abby nodded her agreement, "Yeah."

Abby left and Kerry closed her eyes. She didn't even realize that she had a mini-sleep standing against the wall until she heard a shot. She whirled and charged into her ER. She could hear yelling. "You can't keep him from me. This is your fault..." Another three shots, "You stole my son, you destroyed my family."

Kerry nearly got to the shooting. She was yanked backwards by Dave as Officer Nick Napolitano shot once with his raised gun and Derek Fossen sprawled forward.

There was stunned silence and then Kerry yanked away from Dave. "Luka, you, Carter, Abby, Lydia, get Kim. Connie, Haleh, Greene, David, get Sandy. Mark, is Carlos stable?"

Mark nodded.

"Malik, get him upstairs to Benton, or Don, or Edson, I don't give a damn." No one even breathed, "MOVE. NOW!"

And amazingly, they did. Kerry met Chuny's eyes, "You're with me." She held a hand to Romano and she and Chuny hefted him up onto a gurney that appeared.

"Chief, where do we have to put him?"

Romano wasn't unconscious like the two women and made himself known, "You don't... put... me anywhere. I can help."

Kerry ignored her bald ex. "Exam one."

They rolled the gurney into exam room and the noise level went down significantly as the door swung closed. Kerry started an exam as Chuny started a chart. "Why aren't you in there with one, or both of those women?"

Kerry shot back, "Do you think I don't want to clone myself and be in both rooms. Do you really think I want to be in here, poking at your disgusting feet. Making sure you can still run after the cheap blondes."

When Romano didn't parry back, Kerry looked up. Romano frowned and spoke, "I'm sorry Kerry. First Adele, now Kim and Sandy. Figures the asshole missed the one damn man he wanted to hit." Romano lay still and quiet as Kerry checked his breathing. When she was done he spoke again. "Then again, Greene does seem to have nine lives doesn't he."

Chuny left to get something and Kerry stepped back, "You should tell Elizabeth how you feel you know."

Romano shook his head, "Nah, she and white bread are perfect for each other. She's too much like you, she'd end up hating me too."

Kerry took a step back, "Robert, I don't hate you. More often than not I can't stand you..."

"If both the ladies bite the dust I'm still available you know."

In the doorway Chuny paused, waiting for an explosion from Kerry. She was on edge and that generally didn't make for great conversations with her, especially if the other person was being an ass. She didn't spontaneously combust at Romano, instead she pursed her lips and shook her head, "Right there. That's why... Chuny..."

Chuny came all the way into the room, "I'll try to restrain myself from smothering him."

Kerry started to leave, but Romano stopped her, "Hey, my leg."

"Damn good thing it wasn't your arm huh?" She turned, "Your leg was a through and through. I'm gonna get an Orthopod down here, but I think it missed everything important."

Romano groaned, "Great. The carpenter."

Kerry ignored him and walked to the trauma rooms. She stood out in the hallway between the two and closed her eyes. She leaned back against the wall and listened. What was happening in both rooms mingled and washed over her. They were both alive. Edson was working on Carlos upstairs. Peter on Sandy in Trauma One and Don was on his way down to take Kim, who was slightly more stable, up.

Officer Napolitano appeared next to her. "Doctor Weaver." She didn't respond, "Doctor?"

Kerry opened her eyes and looked over, "I'm sorry. What?"

"Nurse Lockhart said you were outside. Did you see him enter the ER?"

Kerry looked over at Napolitano, "No. Do you think I..."

Napolitano cut her off, "He would have shot you too."

Kerry groaned, "Damn, I have to call their families."

Napolitano put a hand on Kerry's shoulder. "I can ge..."

"No. Florina and the Lopezes probably already know, but I have to call Kim's parents in... in San Francisco. God..."

Napolitano caught Kerry before she fell to the ground, "Were you hit?"

Kerry shook her head, "No. I'm okay. Thank you, and thank you for taking down Fossum."

"I only wish I could have gotten him sooner. My prayers are with your Doc as well as the Lopezes."

Kerry stared at the Trauma doors and pushed off the wall again. This time standing on her own. "Hopefully the prayer'll help."


	17. Chapter 17

"DJ." A three year old little boy came dashing into the ER and Dave swept him into his arms. "Hey bud. Did you hear all the sirens? Crazy huh?"

DJ nodded and from Dave's arms looked around the ER. Dave brought him over to where Kerry was working on charts and doing everything to keep her mind off of the two women who were in two different ORs upstairs. "Chief... Doctor Weaver, this is my son DJ. DJ... my boss Doctor Weaver."

DJ leaned in and whispered something in Dave's ear that caused the usually cool and confident resident to blush something fierce. Kerry watched the father and son's interaction. "Whatever he said, it must have been good."

Dave cleared his throat, "Uh, Sandy and Kim, are they okay?"

Kerry shook her head, "I don't know." She gathered up her charts and crutched towards the doctor's lounge. "She doesn't know? Why isn't she up there bugging the hell outta Edson, and Benton, and Anspaugh?"

Randi shook her head, "She doesn't want to know, and yet she wants to go up there and fix them herself." The phone rang and Randi picked it up, "ER." She listened, then nodded, "I'll get her now Shirley. Yep..."

Randi hung up and walked over to the doctor's lounge. She stuck her head in and spoke a few words to Kerry and then came back to the admit desk.

A moment later Kerry came out of the doctor's lounge and without a word made a beeline for the elevators. The elevators seemed to sense her mood and one opened just as she arrived in front of it. Dave glanced over at Randi, "Sometimes I can be convinced that she's not just the Chief of the ER, but the god of the ER. What'd Shirley want?"

Randi smirked, "Apparently there are a gaggle of angry lesbians upstairs. Don won't let them in to see Kim, so they're demanding Doctor Weaver's presence." Randi paused, "Hey, what'd DJ here say that made you beet red?"

DJ spoke up to his friend Randi, "The lady's really pretty. Prettier than my Mommy."

Randi chuckled, "Hi five DJ, my man." The little boy gave the clerk a slap on the hand and Dave just shook his head.

* * *

"We're being discr..."

Kerry got between Christy and Shirley. Her back to the blonde lawyer. "Sorry about this Shirley. Has Robert been back up here yet?"

Shirley groaned, "You couldn't have put him in traction or something?"

Kerry shrugged, "Sorry. Is Sandy still in the OR?"

Shirley nodded, "Carlos is in recovery, his mother's in there with him. Are you going to check on Kim?"

Kerry nodded, "Yes. Thanks."

Shirley inclined her head and went back to work. Kerry turned and found herself quite literally nose to nose with Christy. "Back up Christy or you'll find my crutch up your ass. We're in my world now."

Christy didn't move for a long moment and then finally she stepped to one side and gave a sarcastic bow. "Do we get the honor of visiting our friend?"

Kerry walked into the waiting room and pushed down her surprise. She'd thought that Shirley had been exaggerating when she called them a gaggle, but there had to be at least twenty women in the waiting room. All sorts and sizes, and all looking very anxious. Kerry slipped on her doctor's mask. "You're not family, and..." Some started to speak, but Kerry put up a hand and they fell silent. "I'm going to go check on her, one person can come with me."

Christy spoke, "That'd be me." Kerry inclined her head and led the way. "Maybe you're not such an ass after all."

Kerry shook her head as they got to Kim's room, "Nope. Trust me, I'm more of one than even you think."

Christy tried to figure that comment out while Kerry got Kim's chart, nodded, and put it back, "She'll be fine, though sore as hell. It nicked her liver, but they fixed it, and it's one of the better healing organs in the body."

Christy nodded, "It's the one that can regenerate itself, right?" Kerry nodded, "You're sure they didn't miss something? Anything?"

Kerry nodded, "Doctor Anspaugh was once the Chief of Surgery and Chief of Staff here. He only works part time, but his skills are as good as ever. Kim will be fine."

Christy stepped forward and caught Kerry in a very unexpected hug. "Thank you. I can be a class A bitch sometimes, but I love her, I really do, and if anything happened..."

Kerry stepped out of the hug and waved her hand, "You should go tell Kate and your... other friends."

Christy left the room and Kerry sank into a chair. She rubbed at her left him. She nearly jumped out of her skin as the bed spoke, "Now that I'm not dead do I get to hear your decision?"

Kerry's first glance was to the readouts next to Kim's bed. Then she met the bluest of blue eyes. "I'm sorry Kim. With you it was intense and we're so alike, and..."

Kim looked away from Kerry, "I, I had a notion that you'd choose her. I, uh... it makes it easier to tell you that, I." Kim shook her head, "Why am I feeling guilty. And old girlfriend, Lori, we got back together."

Kerry sat back and regarded Kim, "You do move on quickly. I'm, I'm sorry that I was another person to disappoint you. I never meant to. I thought..."

Kim shook her head, "I'm not disappointed. You need to follow your heart. And trust me, I've been broken up with in worse, worse ways Kerry."

Kerry raised an eyebrow, "You know, there were the clowns. May I use those creepy things as an excuse?"

Kim laughed, then coughed and winced in pain, "I should get rid of those, I really should."

Kerry took one of Kim's hands in her own, "Thomas gave the first one to you, huh?"

"See, I never even told you that. Yeah, he did." Kim looked down at her feet for a moment, "Firsts never work out, though I guess I'm being..."

"You were... I mean..." Kerry cleared her throat.

Kim looked back up at the red head, "I... oh, I..." She cleared her throat.

Kerry managed to hide her grin, "I've struck the talker silent."

Kim narrowed her eyes, "You owe me a toaster."

Kerry looked confusedly at Kim, "Excuse me?"

"Never mind. Lesbian joke. You really need to do some research you know..."

Kerry shook her head at the blonde and took her hand away. "I... I hope that one day you'll mee the woman who absolutely loves every part of you, including your creepy clown dolls. Just make me one promise."

Kim raised an eyebrow, "Don't get shot again? That's on my list already. This hurts like hell."

"Not Christy. Kate's okay, but Christy..."

Kim laughed again and regretted it, "No more funnies Kerry. Can..."

"...we still be friends? So I can join the stable of exes who appear out of nowhere in the blink of an eye? I'm assuming there's a secret handshake and a phone tree that's given out with admittance? Sure. Only if that means that I can too grill prospective girlfriends to within an inch of their lives. You think Christy was good at scarin' 'em away."

Kim smiled, remembering not to laugh. After a moment she yawned, her energy waning. "Okay. It's set then. Did you call my parents?"

Kerry patted Kim's hand, "They're on their way. Probably be here when you wake up aga..." Kerry trailed off, Kim was asleep again, "Sweet dreams Kimberly."

Shirley's head appeared in the doorway, "Doctor Weaver, they've moved Sandy into Carlos' room and the parents are getting something to eat in the cafeteria. 47."

Kerry followed Shirley out into the hall. "Thanks Shirley."

Shirley gave Kerry a wink, "Gotta watch out for our own." And she was gone, leaving a slightly flummoxed Kerry in the hallway. She shook herself out of it and found the Lopezes' room. She glanced at Carlos and continued onto stand by Sandy's bed.

Kerry quickly read the chart, then moved around and took a hold of one of Sandy's hands. "Day after day you fix other's mistakes, jump into fires to save people you don't even know, and the closest you come to death is in my ER." Kerry paused, "I'm sorry Sandy. So, so sorry."

Carlos spoke from his bed, "It's not the closest... and well, it's probably sorta also why she outed you in the ER."

Kerry glanced up and over. "Oh?"

Carlos took a long breath, then started, "Her name was Maeve. She was an EMT, gay, but so far back in the closet that she woulda needed to run a marathon to get out of it. Scared 'cause well, I don't know. She probably woulda gotten some ribbing from the guys, but less than Sandy puts up with and flings back every day." Carlos shook his head, "Anyway. There was a fire. Sandy's engine and the ladder truck got stuck in traffic, but there were still injured in the building so Maeve and her partner went in. They got spit up, 'cause we're just not trained for fire rescue, you know."

Kerry nodded her understanding and Carlos continued, "Anyway, she got stuck, burned beyond... beyond anything that I've ever seen. It was horrific. Sandy and the boys went in after her, though she wasn't an LT back then, Sandy's always been in charge. Sorta why the whole relationship thing is hard for her. So, she goes in, they get Maeve, they're bringing her out, Sandy's bringing up the rear and bam, my little sister has the place fall on her. Broke both her legs, and one of her arms, not to mention she got one hell of a concussion. Thankfully her spine seemed to go all Gumby on us, and her pelvis was fine. No one... I don't know what people thought, but two days after she woke up, three after the building collapsed on her, I get there with Mama and Eddie and she's rolling down the hall one handed in a wheelchair."

Carlos shook his head again, "But she wanted to see Maeve, say good-bye to her girl. Sandy knew the burns were too much, she's practically been a firefighter since she was squirted out of Mama's womb. She knew that Maeve would die. But Maeve's family was there, and Maeve didn't want to see Sandy. Hell, Maeve's family tried to convince their daughter to see the woman who'd rescue her, but still..." Carlos sighed, "Man, she threw herself into her rehab so thoroughly Mama was scared she'd hurt herself more. That's..." Carlos paused, "That's why she doesn't do well when it comes to hiding sexuality. Hers or other's."

"Thank you."

Carlos met Kerry's eyes, "she'd have told it to you differently. She doesn't give herself excuses. Ever."

Kerry nodded, "Her successes fade fast, her failures stay with her." Kerry used her free hand to brush back a bit of bangs from Sandy's eyes. "I love her Carlos. I mean... it's hard to put into words. When she took me ice skating after her Wombat game, I've never felt so, so..."

A groggy voice came from the bed. "Wobbly."

"At home."

Sandy slowly opened her eyes, "Am I alive?" Kerry traced Sandy's jawline with her hand and simply nodded as her throat constricted and she couldn't get out a word. Sandy spoke, "And Carlos."

Carlos cleared his throat, "Alternating between fake sleep and wishing Rose was back so I could get a little mushiness thrown my way too."

Kerry stood, crossed around to Carlos' bedside, and just as the door to their room opened, Kerry leaned down and planted a full lips kiss on Carlos.

The best sound in the world came from Sandy's bed as she cracked up laughing as she watched her parents and Rose's stunned reactions and Carlos' embarrassment.

The laughing lapsed into coughing and pain and Kerry was at her side again. Her stethoscope to Sandy's chest.

Finally Sandy caught her breath and put a hand over Kerry's. "So... Am I alive?"

Kerry rolled her eyes, "Heartbeat and everything."

"Do I have to fight to keep you? I'm sorta short you know." Kerry cracked up and Sandy narrowed her eyes, "What, okay, so I could probably take all the boys you know, even big ole Mlungisi. That's the thing about getting shot. You wake up all rested and rejuvenated, and ready for payback. So, which episode is that from? Hmmm?"

Kerry got a sheepish look on her face, "Uh... don't know."

Sandy intertwined their hands, "That's okay. I have 'em all recorded, and I think I'm gonna need lots and lots of close care."

Kerry squeezed Sandy's hand, "That can be arranged, uh... right now, I think that your dear mother is trying to kill me with her eyes because she doesn't know what I'm doing here or who I am."

Sandy looked over at Florina and Guillermo, "Ah, Mama, Papa... this is my girlfriend." Sandy looked up at Kerry who simply smiled back, "Doctor Kerry Weaver."

"Mi hija, estás loco?"

Sandy rolled her eyes and tried to sit up. Kerry put a hand on her chest to stop her. "Mama, Kerry puede entender español, y estoy loco en amor con ella."

Florina frowned at Kerry and Sandy, but Sandy's father Guillermo approached the bed and held out his hand across his daughter. Kerry shook it, meeting his strong grip with one of her own. In precise English he spoke, "A pleasure to meet you Doctor Weaver."

"It's Kerry. Please. I'm not a doctor right now."

Florina narrowed her eyes at her daughter, "With a doctor, you can give up this firefighter job. It's too dangerous."

"Mama."

Rose cleared her throat from the side of Carlos' bed. She was a bit taller than Kerry with dark curly hair and slightly darker skin than the Lopezes. "I'm Rose. Soon to be Rose Lopez. Good to meet you Kerry."

Kerry looked across the bed and her eyes twinkled, "You as well Rose." She extracted her hand from Sandy's and was rewarded with a frown from the injured firewoman. "Sorry, but I need to go tell the firefighters and EMTs. Between them and Kim's lesbians... I don't think the surgery floor has ever seen quite an influx of people. I'll be right back though. I promise."

Kerry started to leave, but was stopped by Sandy's quiet voice, "Ker."

Kerry turned, "Does something hurt?" Sandy raised an eyebrow and Kerry's face pinched a bit. "I suck at PDAs, of any gender, but I'm working on it. What I learned together is, don't leave something until tomorrow that you can do today."

Kerry came back to the bed, leaned down and captured Sandy's lips in a kiss. It deepened and lengthened until they parted for air. Kerry brushed Sandy's bangs back again and this time successfully left the room.

Rose followed her out and put a hand over Kerry's shoulder. Rose's eyes twinkled, "Just to warn you Kerry. They're a huggy family, an affectionate family. I... just wanted to warn you."

"I'm ecstatic."

Rose chuckled, "You get used to it, you'll get used to Florina too. Anyway, I'll go back, make sure they're not trashing you too badly."

"Thank you."

Rose nodded and let Kerry go on ahead. She smirked to herself. "Yes, I'm no longer the devilish protestant. Mama Florina has a new target." She practically skipped back into the room.


	18. Epilogue

A/N: I know, I know. Three weeks is too soon, but it was the only way that it worked if I do a second story, since the crazy eighth season starts only three weeks after the end of the seventh. Darn those ER producer/writers... :)

* * *

June 7th, 2001 – 3 Weeks later

* * *

"Don't move."

Sandy groaned. "I'm fine Red. I've been fine for weeks now. I'm not a wilting flower."

Kerry wrapped her arms around Sandy and closed her eyes again. "I know. Just stay with me for another second."

"I'm going back. It's part of me, like, like breathing."

Under Sandy's shirt Kerry's finger trailed along the scar that ran down Sandy's chest. Where they'd cracked her open. "An inch and you'd be dead."

"Ker..."

"No. Let me finish. I love you and if you died I don't know how I'd live without you, but I know that you love firefighting like I do when I heal someone in the ER, and if I asked you to take a desk job, to be an arson investigator or whatever then you would be hypocritical and soon after we'd probably be history."

"I would though. I'd hate my job every day if it meant sparing you pain Kerry."

Kerry kissed the side of Sandy's neck, "Please, just remember I love you and want you to stay alive."

Sandy turned and kissed Kerry. "I love you too, and trust me. I'm always careful. Time to get up."

Kerry lay back down and watched as Sandy got out from under the covers, went to the sink, turned it on, and put the kettle on.

She practically dove back under the covers and Kerry was jerked to full wakefulness, sitting straight up, "Ooh... oh, your feet, they're like ice."

Sandy chuckled, "Sorry. I put on the coffee." She snuggled closer to Kerry.

"What time is it anyway? I didn't hear an alarm." Kerry didn't add that she hadn't wanted to look at the clock either, that she dreaded finding out the time.

"It's about seven thirty. You okay? With..."

"Your shift today. Yes, I really am. Are you?"

"Mmhmm..." Sandy propped herself up on an elbow, "'cept I got no sleep 'cause of the snoring."

Kerry shook her head, "Nah, I don't snore."

Sandy laughed, "Ah, yeah right, like a truck driver."

Kerry laughed, "I don't snore." Sandy gave a brief demonstration, as Kerry cracked up, "Stop it." Sandy didn't and Kerry got proactive, grabbing the pillow from under her head and smooshing it over the still snorting Sandy.

Sandy pulled it off and it was on, "Oh, oh, wait a minute..." And then she was on top, giving Kerry zurbits on her neck and cheek and Kerry couldn't stop laughing. Didn't want to ever stop laughing like she was.

Finally Kerry caught her breath and looked up at Sandy, the fire fighter's hair hanging down, her eyes alight with playfulness as well as the sexual spark that was always seemed to be just under the surface. And her steal your heart and soul smile was firmly in place.

Kerry touched Sandy's cheek. "Never change Sandy."

Sandy lowered herself down and let their bodies become one, making sure not to put her weight on Kerry's left hip. "I'll try, but ya know, I was feeling this weird girly vibe and actually liked Lakmé." Kerry smiled, "And don't pretend you didn't like it when Probert took it to the poor other guy. Next on the list. Boxing..."

"Sandra Aquila Maria Lopez. If you take me to a boxing match I'll tell your mother about the..."

The rest of Kerry's thought was lost to the winds of time as Sandy derailed the neural impulses with a kiss on the lips, then the neck, and these were definitely nothing like zurbits.

* * *

Fin ~ March 18th, 2010


End file.
